Subject : That...
Text: was fun. Want to do it again sometime?
R
Its a guy I gave the same curtious smile to in the halls of Cubeville I give everyone and is apparently lonely or desperate enough to not notice when I turn my attentions to someone I actually want to talk to that I add a wink and a REAL smile and maybe a touch on the arm.
I'm a flirt. I know it. Shut up. Whatever adds to the smile factor of life, I say.
So he finds me in the corporate directory, emails me "whats up? ", I say work and lunch, he says "I've gotta take a break, I'm leaving for lunch in 5 min, wanna come? My treat."
I didn't answer.
He called my desk.
I didn't answer.
I left my desk and hid in the filing cabinets on the other side of the building.
No, I'm not kidding!!!
I came back 10 min later to find a stack of work being left on my desk... so as I chat about the details my phone rings again... she tells me to get it.
Its him and I pretend I didn't see the email and he's walking past my desk and he asks if I want free lunch and I don't know how to say no AT ALL so we hopped in his red convertable Boxter and take off for sandwiches and I am polite and he is smiling with food in his teeth and I am trying to keep a conversation going because that is what I do and he is being interested because he is actually interested...
Ugh. UUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Now I have avoided the MINUTE WE GOT BACK email from above for an afternoon and a morning and I am sure he will be more than a little butthurt when I don't stop by his office on my way by... and I have to pass when I go see my boss...
What am I supposed to do????
I mentioned I was in Vegas over the weekend with a guy and he rolled the conversation a different way.
I said I like my life as full as it is and he says he has plenty of relaxation time.
He is old and way fat and almost boring and flaunts his money and has an uncomfortable laugh and I am not AT AAAALLLLLLLLLLL interested... but yet somehow I feel bad that he thinks of me enough to look me up and invite me out and he got me the chocolates for Christmas and I thought it was nice to say thanks with a smile and NOW LOOK!
Stupid bright smile. Causing all kinds of trouble these days.
Yes, I know I'm being cranky. And overanalyzing. Whatever.
Check out the new moon meter I added to my sidebar... whenever the picture is filling in, I will be a freak. Whats it to ya?
Seriously, any advice would be great.
And yes, I'm talking to You - mot, lbb, viewfinder, doggrrrl, monty, curmudeon, riley, ariel (if you still pop in)... and the rest of you I don't have a post from in a while.
When I asked my best friend (no she doesn't read the blog even though I gave her the link) what she thought, I got:
Oh so that's how lunch went.....well....I hope Vegas was fun. Talk to you this weekend. C
She said she was burnt out, but this sounds a little judgmental to me. Catholic much, C???
Oh, and if it was joked that I wouldn't hear from Him when we got back from Vegas and its now becoming reality, exactly how many days is acceptable for not getting a return phone call before I can leave an honest yet BYOTCHY message along the lines of "you wanted to stay in the room and bond with me and you told me I have your respect - well, if you respected me at all you'd at least give me a 'I am going to hibernate for a week or two, I'll call you when I'm done' message because if you knew me at all you'd see you are killing me with a cliffhanger of a drive home conversation and then nothing. I know you've heard me telling you what irks me these last months; don't pretend you didn't hear how hurt I was that my sister withdrew from me. I just want to be friends and don't know how to let you suffer without wanting to help. F*ckin call me back and tell me what happened or don't look surprised when I don't want to see you again."
I'd love some help with this one too.
And my boss just walked into my cube and saw me posting with stacks of work in front of me.
Fantastic.
Time to search for new work again!!
Qualudes anyone?? Zanex?? Maybe some antihystimines or Nyquil will calm me a bit... ttys,
6 comments:
He sez: "That...was fun. Want to do it again sometime?"
Since you got busted and will be looking for a new job, I guess it's solved for you, ain't it?
In case it isn't, here's my thought for what it's worth.
Tell him thanks for asking, and tell him you would like others to join or politely decline and blame it either on "Don't date co-workers" or maybe "Already involved".
Let me preface this by saying that I'm not famiiar with the backstory. That said, could you just tell him you're flattered by all the attention but you're not interested? It's a lot harder than I make it sound but it has to be easier than spending your time trying to dodge him.
I like curmudgeon's idea, also. You're either involved or you don't date the people with whom you work. Unless, um, you've already dated someone there. That would render your excuse void. lol
okay, the first one is easy -- you don't mix your personal and professional life, ever. it's dangerous and unprofessional in this era of sexual harrassment (you tell him this in a very sweet, very nice email in which you make sure to use the words 'sexual harrassment'... unless he's a complete moron, he'll see that you've given him formal notice that his advances are not wanted and that if he doesn't stop there will be consequences to the company and to his career.
the second one truly sucks if you like this guy (that said, being 'just friends' seems out of the question -- you went to vegas, and presumably slept together?)
anyway, he's treating you insensitively and disrespectfully now , and you should not accept that. you also don't really have time or energy to 'fix' him if he's a sufferer. (who does, except other sufferers?)
let youself be worth more than he's giving you, or next thing you know, obnoxious office fatties will be worthy of you, too.
Darling,
1. Tsk, tsk, tsk! You keep sticking the fork in the electric socket and then you're shocked when you get shocked! Of course he's not going to call, and please don't call him irate! It was F*(# Buddy time, and that's that!
2. Please do not feel guilty about some sweaty creep because he cares enough to notice you? That's very low self-esteem. OF COURSE he'd notice you! He notices every single girl clearly out of his league! You're in a committed relationship is what I'd say. And then just say "No thank you" to everything in the future. I think you can see that caving only makes it worse. Don't end up with a stalker! Be emotionally cold now! No more smiles!!!
Jay-sus! I hope your weekend was better!!!!
he could be a real tiger in bed, you never know. ahh, not proactive advise... I'd say find a way to avoid him altogether and if that doesn't work, have a little fun and casually/unflappably drop 'OB G' and 'rash' in the same breath.
Thank you all for your input =) =)
curmudgeon - I did send a 'I don't take my work home with me' email to the lunch guy... he replied "exactly". I guess that means he got the gist? We'll see if I get another invite.
doggrrrl - well, perhaps a different kind of question is your forte... I'll come up with "does this technique work for you?" soon enough ;)
bf - um, there was a place I had a fling from the office... he didn't work and neither did the job... but this guy won't know that =)
viewfinder - No, he isn't just a friend. Yes, there is a backstory to write a soap opera from. Yes, this bout of drama is because I find myself caring what happens to him/with him. No, he doesn't deserve me. Yes, I am working on realizing I am too good for him. Yes, that makes me sad. =(
mot - Well, I know, but sometimes its nice to have someone interested in you and sometimes I need a shock to get me where I'm going. The work guy is an ego stroke and He is, well, He used to be one. Now He wants me to be his and I am just lonely enough to offer that.
And yes, I know he is a turkey and I will be soaring with the eagles soon enough... but don't shit on the underdog lest you meet them on the way back down or whatever that addage is, right?
riley - if I only had the courage!! They already have no reason besides the too-girl-next-door look to think I party every night... don't think they need any more ammo to talk smack about me =)
Thank you all for your input, and I promise to post about my weekend to better explain why it took me until Monday morning to reply= )
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