I was offered a free place to stay in Hawaii.
Its with family, some of whom I know, some I know only by name, others are tangents off that name... but its a free place to stay with people that won't jack my shit while I sleep.
Right now, I might be offered a sofa couch in the living room of a suite, but we are clearing up the details and I'm not JUMPING on the airfare that is $200 cheaper than a month ago quite yet.
The fun: I've told 3 people that I am buying 2 tickets and THEY can be my partner in crime for the week on the island!!!
Techie said "blonde twins waiting for me?? I need their combined age to be at least legal, tnx tho" when I said "you put the idea of Hawaii in my head YESTERDAY and I can book the flight TODAY, are you SURE you don't want to see how cute my baby cousins are??!?!?"
Sister said "um, yeah, sounds FUCKING FANTABULOUS, GREAT, but I need to pay off a card and get a new car that RUNS and move out. Priorities. I have to keep my priorities." I agreed whole heartedly, and reminded her that she does whatever the fuck she puts her mind to so if she would just get her spindly neurons wrapped around the condensed timeframe I proposed, we could be in Hawaii CELEBRATING the accomplishment of her priorities.
Sexy said "you bought two tickets to Hawaii? well, almost bought? you are taking me to Hawaii?? Thats, wow, really?" I'll leave out the mushy crap where he batted his eyes and blushed and thought through the 'I will get you there and give you shelter, you pay for all the fun stuff, whatever that may be' catch before offering this gem (with a smile, only partly serious, but still my key phrase of the week): "wait, January? The end of January?? We'll never make it!! You already frustrate the shit out of me! ::sidelong glance with a sidelong smile to match:: Ah, man, that would be so great though! Wait, would I have to sleep with you while we are there?"
I reminded him that he frustrates the everliven shit out of me too, but somehow we still call each other... and he can get excited as he wants cuz when it all turns to shit I'll bring my sister anyway. He said "yeah, thats true, your covered two ways from Sunday on this one - either me to take you all over and have crazy fun island sex on everything we see and buy you whatever you want, or you and your sister just sit looking over the water giggling like fools the whole time..."
Here's what I love - the reactions to the people I've already told about this trifecta of fun...
the person who invited me was already pulled off to the side of the highway, but I SWEAR she was gonna pee her pants laughing at Sexy, aka YesterdayISaidWeDecidedYouWereAStalkerChickToRunFrom and today you are the BESTESTCHICKEVER... she was a little shocked that Sister realized the ramifications before jumping onboard, but since last night she has bragged to our Auntie (that she is shacked up with until her credit cards vacate her credit report) that she is being Sugar Mama'd to the ONE PLACE IN THE WORLD Auntie has said she wants to go before she dies (did I mention Auntie was in the middle of a 15 minute long "my bday is coming my bday is coming!! oh, you talked to your sister? What is Sassy doing for MY BIRFFDAY?!!?! - one sentance from the Sister I love more than my morning latte had that bitch shut up for 20 minutes!!!!!
Sister said, about Sexy's comment that he was the designated drag along, "WHAT? Who does he think he is? FREAK, yesterday he was never gonna call you again because you LIKE HIM!!!"
I can't WAIT to see how this plays out... seriously, I'm not buying any tickets yet, I'm just talking about all this stuff, but to have Sexy and Sister vying for Sassy Sugar Mama-ness... it makes me giddy on a day when 4 hours of sleep, 2 double lattes and an Earl Grey tea just Ain't Cutt'n It.