Tuesday, November 14, 2006


I am in shock that Spaz told me she'd be gone for the weekend but came home Saturday night in the new version of MY CAR.
She knows the dealer and got a great deal, blah blah. It still reminded me of "Single White Female" and I'm a little too excited to see she is dying her hair blonde instead of my chestnut brown this go round.

I'm dazed by the idea that Sister is turning down normal day jobs that pay $3 more an hour than her current place because she works sooooo many hours a day at the current place that its about even in the scope of things - and she doesn't want to leave them understaffed. It baffles me that she has that much dedication to her workplace but that somehow last year I paid a deposit on a cell phone because her Family Share'n ass let our account default too long and I was communicationless for 2 months.

I am gluttonously giddy with the french vanilla creamered coffee lasting into the early afternoon, the chocolate crusted and caramel swirl topped cheesecake taking the place of lunch as I was too busy getting my cervix massaged by a certain male member until the windows were fogged and our bodies were covered in tiny persperation beads that made sitting up an absolute challenge against passing out from the dizzying overload of endorphins to the brain. We actually laid against each other just catching our breath and blinking hard for at least 2 minutes, then set a date to have 'lunches leftovers' for dinner. =)
Maybe I'll have gotten some work done by then, maybe not, but this particular afternoon I am living life as if it were my last day and my goodness the joys of being a grown ass woman are, if only for the moment, mighty sweet.
Now, if I could only get my eyes to deglaze from the shock and dazed and gluttony of the pleasures of the flesh, maybe I could see whats on my desk and earn my keep.

EDIT: My coworker ordered in lunch because we are short staffed today. She ORDERED me to come eat with her, saying that my taking lunch early and shortening it for her to make her noon meeting meant I SURELY didn't have time to eat. I blinked. She said "well, you wanted to go at 11:30am to meet up with Sexy, right? (yes she calls him Sexy, and she calls me Sassy. Its hilarious to hear out loud in real life :) ) So that means 30 minutes isn't enough to make out AND eat. I was sure you didn't eat, because why would you leave for him if you weren't going to make out with him? So here, take some beef and brocolli."
I thanked her profusely, said I appreciated her understanding. We bonded over the idea of taking every lovely smile inducing thing in this life and savoring it, then giggled like school girls about how I was savoring Sexy.
Its been hours and I'm still in my nooner coma. Coffee nor water nor food is cracking the glaze of delight. Poor me ;)


Monty said...

You're not the type to suffer in silence are you.

vincentblackshadow said...

Try it on the hood next time, leave the engine running for some woman friendly vibrations. This is a late night, somewhere reasonably busy, might get caught one. Not a nooner. Unless you're really adventurous. That would beat a bar top anytime.

An ex of mine did get arrested for having sex on top of a police car, so she wins.

Move sis in now, 2 birds 1 stone - no more weird roomie, get sis better job. Sorted.

Enjoy your lunch tomorrow!!

Miss Sassy said...

Monty - never. and I don't enjoy life in silence either. I'm an equal opportunity talker.

VBS - Did the top of the car. Left handprints all over the hood. He left them for 3 weeks to brag to as many people as possible. Wasn't with this guy, but it was better than the back seat of a 2 door ;)

She wins in my book too. How loaded do you have to be to try that???

I'm all for the single stone toss, its getting the roomie to vacate thats the trouble, then the rent she leaves behind... Sis comes into town tomorrow to get the nitty gritty interviews done, she should be in like Flinn somewhere by Dec. 1st =)
I guess I should post it, but it dawned on me that there are LOTS of places I could move to (with more affordable rent) if I have a locked in roomie to pick up the other part of a 2/1 or 2/2 place... its being the single that demands the dealings with whatever roomie returns your call in time to move. We are considering finding a littler pad to call our own, though moving sounds wicked bad and another place would have less closet space ;)
I'm coming to check you out, I swear, you have been such a faithful commenter and I've barely an idea about you!!

curmudgeon said...

She gave you beef with broccoli? You already had beef in your broccoli!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! I crack me up.

Ahem. Ugh. Sorry.

Miss Sassy said...

C - maybe its time to get some updated porn. Or a color TV. These days the girls are looking a little more like the freshly plowed field the brocolli came from...

wait, I said plowed. huhut.
wait, now I'm having a Bevis and Butthead flashback.

All in good time, Flo decided lunch was that last I'd see of that beef for a good while... fun while it lasted, and the bruised shoulders are lovely reminders of the fun parts of being a woman =)