Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Holiday Season

Dad is asking Sister and I to come visit for Christmas...

I was thinking just this morning that I'd have to go for a holiday but Tday was more my speed...

I haven't participated in Christmas in a few years - no gifts, no cards, no nuthin but a phone call, and even that was a wash last year after too much fun on the roller coasters. Apparently step sis will be making the trip and the one who still lives around the home town is invited for the holiday.

I don't know why I don't give a shit about the holidays, but I kinda really really don't. If I like you, you know it, I don't need to blow my savings account proving it to you in December.

I have a poster called "Life's Little Lessons", one of them is "go home for the holidays" and I HATE that one. I spent last year's Tday at the roomiess parents house, and Xmas sleeping off roller coasters at my aunt's (yes, the freak Sister is currently living with).

I don't feel at home when I go to the home town, I never lived in the house I visit, and while my car drives itself over the roads, the only trips I've made have been to help me or Sister VACATE.

He is willing to cover the cost of the trip.
I'm not replying until I really get my head around the idea, and see if Sister is up to the road trip.
I have friends up there I could see.
I have had dreams of the local haunts I've missed while trying to establish new ones.
To be at Mom's gravestone for the holidays might make a much needed dent in my appreciation for daily life, but I have her urn on my dresser to rub for that.
And its not 500 miles and 8 hours away.

I really feel established here, like I've put some roots down that are all mine and I can stand firmly on them.
And Dad has a way of questioning everything I'm doing and making me feel inadiquate in everything I do. I have gotten better and making him stop before it really hurts, but there is something special about a parent talking to you that makes the words stick, you know?

Since I know you're here to avoid thinking about your own drama, wade around in my shit pool for a few minutes and tell me what you think... swallow my pride and give Dad his girls at the dinner table for Christmas, or find my resolve to do what I feel comfortable with and have the dinner table festivities on Thanksgiving? Or tell him he has broken my spirit every time we've talked for more than 5 minutes for the last 10 years and he can shove the turkey up his ass???

14 comments:

curmudgeon said...

Since you asked, my $.02:
Send your dad a nice card and spend Christmas with your sister. At your place.

vincentblackshadow said...

Just do whatever makes you happy honey.
Stay in bed, pull the covers over your head, and wait for boxing day.

Miss Sassy said...

C - Hawaii seems more of my priority, doesn't it? =)

VBS - thats just it. I know I have Daddy issues, and I keep going for assholes instead of manipulateable slobs because they are his antithesis.
My favorite memeory - He (from Dec/Jan archives) was told a story about Dad and said "that is a dispicable way to treat you"... you have to know He to see the irony, but everyone in my life (including Dad) thinks He is the MOST dispicable human I've ever shared air with...
Maybe I should stop being a whiney bitch and take my free travel where I can get it instead of assuming the test of the situation is the ability to say "no" instead of learning to say "yes"??

Oh, and I'm ALWAYS ready to hide until Boxing Day... especially in bed ;)

vincentblackshadow said...

Every woman I know has 'Daddy' issues, don't worry. My motto is if you don't enjoy something don't do it.

There is a disclaimer though, you have to try it a least twice cos the first time you could just be doing it wrong without knowing.

If you need an excuse say you've won a competition, a round the world trip, you're family will be pleased (and jealous) and not disappointed. Then Stay in bed for the whole of the holidays.

Result!!!

Miss Sassy said...

VBS - Everything I've tried twice turns into a "sure, I do that!!"... I've returned home more than twice, disappointed each time. Yet still I consider appeasing those who vow to love me eternally.

I'm thinking "I have plans for Christmas already, thanks though, how about you and the grandparents and me and Sister for Tday instead?"
Then stay in bed for my days off at Xmas... and spend all my saved money in HAWAII!!!!

Bonus - more likely to be fit AND trim on the island if I avoid road trip food and eating with the man who taught me how to keep up with his 350 lb ass at 12 years old (who now ensures I have a full drink at all times in his home). =)

vincentblackshadow said...

Sounds like a plan, Xmas sorted and Hawaii in your sights.

Cool, you cand send me a postcard with some of your saved up cash.

Ah "sure, I do that!!"... the words every man wants to hear.

Mom of Three said...

You. Jessie. Shorty. Your mom's favorite recipes, nice Christmas music in the background.

You're a big girl and you pay your own way. Why not say you don't want to be away from Shorty for what is probably her last Christmas, or that the trip would be too hard on her?

You know how I feel about it.

Miss Sassy said...

VBS - as it turns out, I got Sister to return a call in less than two weeks and SHE felt icked about the Xmas idea also... she is making the call RIGHT NOW to tell him we can make it to Tday, and then only if the gparents will be attending =)=)
And I've gotten the scoop on the Hawaii invite... waiting til the end of the month to INFORM, not get an INVITE, from the owner of the timeshare, that I WILL be attending with guest(s).
I'll be looking up flights at lunch ;)
Oh, and btw, girls like to hear that phrase from guys too!!!

MOT - Still no email, but I did get one two days late to my yahoo... did you send it there and its in limbo??
I was relieved to hear Sis didn't want to do the gift holiday either... and we BOTH want to visit the gparents as it will probably be THEIR last holiday too. I think one day of drinking and dinner is plenty of an offering on our parts, no need to make a weekend out of it!!
Oh, and we know Dad has to pay for my time - I COULD pay my own way, but getting his cash makes it not a total thorn in my side to go. I'm worth more than to fork my own cash to be in his company.

vincentblackshadow said...

I'm intruiged now, what would you be asking for to get anything other than a 'sure, i do that' from a guy.

Good news on the Hawaii and Tday things. Will start packing my bags and suncream then. Can you fit me in your luggage?

Miss Sassy said...

VBS - you'd be surprised. Well, they say the do it, then don't follow through... pay for dinner, tie you to the bed, give foot massages...

You'd know better than I if you fit in luggage, though I did take inventory of what I have and it might be time for a new set. How are you with the "Ocean's Eleven" style travel, if I'm mindful not to loose you?

vincentblackshadow said...

Ocean's 11 style travel is Ok, I'm 6'1 so it'll be a big case. Might need help to get me on & off the luggage carousel.

Paying for dinner is what a gentleman should do, foot massages are v.cool and being tied to a bed should at all times include a blindfold. But its more fun when the girl is tied up, cos you get to explore her erogenous zones, which is way better.

Askinstoo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Miss Sassy said...

VBS - I'll just put you in my hanging clothes bag... pretend I have a REAL long dress that CAN NOT be folded... get you some roller blades to stick out the bottom so I can drag the bag ;)

They all agree with you on all those accounts, its the FOLLOW THROUGH that distinguishes the guys from the guys I'll call back.

Monty said...

talk is cheap