Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Sticky Situation

PLEASE help me with this one folks...
I was asked to track down a file and did so with a quickness.
Upon delivery to her cube, I was greated with a smile and a tremendous thanks.
As I turned to leave, she whispers my name and waves me back into her cube.
"Do you smoke?" she asks pointedly.
"No, I don't." I reply inflectionless.
"I didn't think you did, but you smell like smoke." An emploring look comes across her face.
"My cubemate smokes." She winces. "Menthols" I continue in disgust. She sighs and closes her eyes to cut off the incoming information to deal with the monstrosity of a concept she has just been dealt.

So I thought it an inconvenince that I can't breath for four minutes every time Miss Menthol comes back from where ever she takes her cancer, but I am now up in arms that my barely worn and nearly worn out clothes can no longer come off my body and hang in the "worn but can be worn again" section of my closet (I'm am just that organized) due to 1) NOT being able to sit in the stench of someone elses addiction and 2) the bleed over factor to the rest of my closet is most undesireable. I am suddenly quite aware of my curled lip when I approach a stack of clothes with the intent of determining which part of the closet they go to... I thought it was just time for my body to change its scent again but now it is clear I was sniffing the tar and weeds of the green box I thought I could leave at the office.

How, pray tell, is the subject to be broached with my cubemate?? Surely I can not accept this intrusion of personal space... to have walked across the entire building and be reaking of smoke to get asked about it??!?!?!!? How vile I feel. What can I say to get this ick look off my face??
Oh, and only one short hour ago I was admiring myself in the full length mirror of the private bath, so proud of how my ensamble complimented my figure and skin tone to the point I forgot why I was there in the first place and took advantage of my willing self. And at this moment, as she grabs her satchel and tosses her locks and dashes for an outside area to further the insult I can't get my skin to stop crawling.
Help me in my quest to be ever considerate of others choices and gracious in my interactions... I can think of no sentance besides "I wasn't going to mention that you return with a pigpen-esqe cloud from your frequent breaks but I can not have the world thinking I participate in this particular habit... would you mind making a hot lap around the building after your finished burning that reprehensable roll of putrid carcinogens while fanning yourself and spraying FeBreeze so I don't have to?? Many thanks..."


Monty said...

Try going to HR and asking to be moved. You can point out to both HR and your roomie that your wardrobe is being ruined by the smell of cigarette smoke. Point out that someone else noticed, from several cubicles away. Ask HR *and* your roomie for help in solving this dilemna. Gets both involved rather than throwing rocks at your roomie. Makes you look classy, diplomatic, and there aren't the kind of hurt feelings that breed enemies.

Miss Sassy said...

I'm liken it Monty.
Catch - my three levels of mgmt above me are all smokers. (in a company of 10,000, 85% of entry level positions are temp and I am but one.) And all hate that I have to share a cube more than I do. And we are supposedly moving in the next few months.
And the rage is more than the smoke, I'll freely admit.
But this is the first complaint I can make that holds more water than "she bugs".
Further comments?? Maybe the temp agency can liason (since they are my paycheck, they are who I report to on the highest level.)

Monty said...

Please re-read all of sex and vodka

BTW, in Maryland no one can smoke in an office building, or any other public place for that matter.

Monty said...

I have thought about this one for a while, really. You do want to be noticed, but for excelling, not for problems. The fact that you're working is good all by itself. If there is a big move coming, the strong move is to suck it up, and wait to see what happens.

Now, to move into the Professional Leagues, go through the managerial ranks and volunteer to work on the move. Regardless of what you do, you'll come out ahead. Doubtfull you'll end up with the same cubicle mate, you'll have shown initiative, and as stoopid (I can spell it) always smile, until it becomes natural. E Mail is a better place for political scheming!

Mom of Three said...

Sadly, I think it's best if you just suck it up. You're not going to be next to her forever, and you want to really pick what you want to wank about in an office setting. I totally sympathize with you, but I think Febreze is a great thing, PLUS, go nuts and buy yourself one of those Glade Story Scents, and plug it right in at your desk.

Hope you're having a great weekend! Once you get that promotion, it will be clear skies, and clear lungs. Most people higher up don't smoke.

Pisser said...

I feel you. Smokers reek.

The funny part is that they don't think they smell and get all offended when you point out that they do...imagine how their lungs must feel.