Saturday, April 05, 2008

Two Posts, One Morning!!!

OK, so I'd logged on to check the weather, had to pour a little soul out before the shower and coffee (because I couldn't get into my shower or brush my teeth for the coffee, which they drank the whole 10 cups I left for them but not even a warmer of sludge left for me 20 minutes later - they only make 3 cups at a time, how did they do that??), so I decided to check up on my blogroll.

It needs help, don't go there, I'm on it as soon as I get an actual chair to sit in to do it (the milk crate puts my legs to sleep).

One in particular has me completely hooked, like a soap opera wrapped in prime time drama dipped in coke and topped with warm triple chocolate brownies.
So, I'm reading from the bottom up because I just have a whole thing with it now and refuse to let the office environment cramp my enjoyment of sporadic tear droppage and can't get to the home computer every night for fear of forgetting what the actual world looks like, and at the top I see a button, that's a link, that talks about another page. You can immediately see why I HAD to click on it:
(OK, she posted the button link but it's telling me the "tag is not closed" and I don't know how to fix that, so just go here and scroll to the Mickey)

Now, it's been a while since I've been all up in the Blogger World, but before I knew it I was 3 pages over and realizing that if I didn't stop reading my eyes would surely swell shut, and seeings that I have plans that involve driving today, that really would be a problem.

So here's the deal - I knew how to get around Disneyland before I knew how to read a clock. My mom used to sign my school absence notes like this: "Miss Sassy had a very important appointment at my establishment, could not reschedule, had to miss the whole day. Sincerest Apologies, Mickey Mouse." If I could have stolen my school records just for this, I promise I'd buy a scanner to post it to prove it. My parents went to Disneyland for their honeymoon. My cousins loved the idea so much, they did the same - a few of the cousins actually. I made it my pilgramage every year for 10 years starting with my high school grad trip. I tell everyone they MUST experience it, especially if they never went as a kid, it's better as an adult anyway, you can eat as many ice cream sundaes as you can afford and you don't have to take potty breaks from the Jungle Cruise line.
Add to it that Mom died of cancer 6 weeks after diagnosis and this woman has just heard she is a THREEPEAT.
Apparently this time it's worse.
This I can't wrap my head around.
I watched the first set of pills turn my mom from someone with a headache and blurred vision into a water retaining puff of mentally incapacitated weakling barely able to lift a full cup of coffee (we quit buying gallons of milk, couldn't get the half gallon in a carton, had to be the plastic with the handle).
This woman wants to go to DISNEYLAND.
I don't have the energy to think about Disneyland some days.
She is being eaten alive by her own body and this is her wish?

I'm not pulling the Mom card. Really, I resent everyone who carries that kind of baggage like a satchel that motivates every favor they need.
I'm really not asking you to donate because I know you who email me on the side that you've read my posts that I should have buttons for YOU..
I wanted to point out that I might be posting more often because I've found more humanity in the last 12 minutes of blogrolling than I have in the last 4 months of living in this house, working at this job, or existing in my insulated life.
I was deeply touched by this stranger with an alias, and I feel more alive in these tear stained cheeks that I thought I was capable of.

In case you are so inclined, my lurkers, I liked this button too - they reached the $3000 goal in the 3 days between first post and when I read it, so this family can have a dream vacation with their maybe fatally diagnosed mom, but the way no one would tell me anything about the billing of even 6 weeks of cancer, well, you know the insurance company isn't helping her anymore and she will need some new comfy sweats to fight this in:
I'd love to stay and chat, but it's supposed to get up to 60 degrees today and I'm looking forward to appreciating the wind in my hair a little more emphatically today.
Word of the Day: ohgofuckyourselfhonesttearsarefantasticandI'llhaveasmanyasIwant, or, ifyouwantsomegogetthemthelinksarerightherebutbewareofactualprimalinstinctdrivenempathy.

No comments: