Thursday, February 02, 2006

Roomie Bitch

Iwas thinking the chore schedule was a little offputting of an idea, but somehow I think a 'quite please' curfew isn't out of line at this point.

I don't think we should have to put cotton around the edges of the cupboards to sleep past 7am, or that we have to get out of bed at 3am to tell them to shut up, or to think there is an emergency downstairs because they are having a conversation and have to scream about it... and this whole "I have my own food, but thanks" is great except it makes me feel like whatever we have to offer isn't good enough.

Personality quirks aside, its like they feed off each others most selfish habits and let each other have them so they can have their own! Its amazing that they don't feel the house shake under their power! And I just can't think of a nice way to say "I know you don't drink during the week and your going to tell me you don't pass judgement but I heard you 'oh' when I poured the vodka last night - I only did it so I MIGHT be able to handle being in the same house with you while we are both awake. It didn't work, I still wanted to stab sharpened pencils into my ears. Is there any possible way the volume and frequency of your voice could be turned down? Oh, and I hear you walking, you don't need to "hmmm" and "aahhhhh" while you move to be noticed. And no, I will not be manipulated into asking about your day, where you were last night, what your having for dinner, or who you were talking to on the phone. I will give you until the end of the weekend to stop walking into a room talking over me before I will throw little yellow FOUL flags and put you in the corner for 10 min for doing it. Is there really something in your head that makes you have to repeat everything you say immediately after you say it only louder, faster, and more sing-songy? Like, Come On."
Yeah, I'm having a hard time thinking of a nice way to say that.

I am now sure that she was the cause of my headache. Boss sucks, sure; Miss Menthol isn't helping; the gym workout may have exacerbated the symptoms... but when it comes down to it, my world was at a level of stress and then this little bitch moves in and ten days later I need two days of concentrated breathing, self shoulder massages, muscle relaxers, and a yogi to kinda feel a little less pounding in my skull??? She is the only X factor.

The only way I know its not just me bitching is easy!
We have a cat who lives in the kitchen. Whenever Talks McSqueeky comes in, Binky (the cat) gets under the chair and watches her... with her ears flat against her head.
The dogs won't hang with us if we are in the living room - I found them upstairs. This had NEVER happened before. To be downstairs means party time to these lab mixes... and they take stairs to NOT be with us???
Oh, and we've had people over who give us "you've GOT to be kidding" looks when they meet her.

And the roomie who gave her the go ahead to move in without so much as us UpStairs Girls knowing her name or move in date? Completely oblivious to the problem because they are mutated from the exact same strand of the demon spaun of inconsiderate bleached blonde twits who need guys to drool over them to feel worth while - the only difference is one will sleep with them and the other won't.

In other news - My Sidebar Is Fixed!! Miraculously, I stirred up the code in the Template and the preview nor going to the side lent any satisfactory solution... then I check my emails today and I get Congrats and Whatsamatta's ... and come on over and Its Back Where It Belongs!!
I'm so glad to not have this waiting to be fixed and PROMISE to check my picture sizes and linked-like-this-sentances before hiding all my links at the bottom of the screen again =)

There's more, but maybe later, my finger nails are starting to get long and if I beat them on the keys too long they break =( Plus, I have to go read your blogs!!


april said...

I don't think I could live with any other women. Well, any more than one woman. We are bitches to each other sometimes. And me, I'd be telling Miss Thang to take her ass somewhere else because you aren't having her shit in y'alls house.

Oh, and I hope you don't mind but I linked you on my sidebar. =)

curmudgeon said...

Forgive me if I'm stating the obvious, but if the critters are acting that way, they're getting mistreated when you're not around.
Nice person y'all have around there.

Laurie said...

I hate roommates. LOATHE them. Shit, I can barely live with my CHILDREN!

The cooking, the cleaning the endless screaming.

Thank God for Coors Light.

Miss Sassy said...

april - sure, but we can walk with our thongs hangin out and braless all Saturday morning without oogles (though she kept complaining about how her pants fell down, I still insist its better than the horndog I lived with in the last place that could. not. stop. looking. at. the. bikini. top. even with his girlfriend tugging his arm.)

oh, and Thank You. Very honored :bow:

curmudgeon - well, she didn't listen when we said they are INDOOR cats and she left the back door open when doing laundry and our kitchen cat Thinks she wants to be outside... and was locked out for 5 hours.
As for the dogs, well, I think their ears bleed when she speaks near them.
Mine do.
Oh, and the other DownStairs K hates animals so they know they won't get love or treats from either of those chicks. Not worth the headache to stick around and be in the way, right?

laurie - INDEED. I have a 5 year plan that started last year that includes living alone for a year before settling in to anything permanent (and saving enough to do that!!)... in the mean time, the store keeps giving me coupons for the next 24 pack, so I keep redeeming them!!!!
And blast the dimwit who thought BudLight belongs in our fridge! THAT didn't help my needing to smack the smarts into someone!

Mom of Three said...

Everyone has roommate horror stories. I had one that smelled so bad, his boss called him in for a talking to because he was stinking up the office. The boss should have smelled this jerk's room! And, since I was a girl, he assumed I would be doing all the housework! He lasted a couple of months before I sent his ass flying and took over the rent myself.

Hope you can save for your very own condo soon!