Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Potty Post

No, mentioning potty behavior wasn't enough.
I want a whole post to talk about what I think about in the potty.
Yes, I am a full grown woman who loves to use the word potty. Potty Potty Pot Pot Potty. I don't have kids, but lemme tell you, I enjoy the 'wanna go potty?' conversation with the dog Every Day.
Potty.
Its just fun.
And its a great place to collect your thoughts, if you don't have a cat wrapped around your leg or a dog licking your kneecap.

These thoughts all hit me today in the office stalled (not private) potty spot (though I Always snake the big one - its just better not to hit your elbows while trying not to hear other people poop.)

I had a big BIG confirmation that I am evloving as a self actualized woman - I shaved my cooch without any prospect of anyone else seeing it.
I was sick of changing into my gym clothes and getting three steps into visibility to the rest of the Super Cramped common area before the tiny undies I put on (I NEVER have panty lines and those workout pants are So Good for seeing my ass in that mirror wall; so out comes the stringy ones that, well, I just don't want my lips flappen when I stretch) start yankin on the wiry SOBs in the crease where my leg meets my lip.
I was quietly irking at the lack of direct cooch rub I would get by rocking in my chair at work; there was an unfamiliar pillow keeping me from my midday tease.
I soared with the idea that someday I would be in a long term committed relationship where I would enjoy keeping trim for my man but for now I can just shave the calves for the skirt I want to wear and leave the rest to fuzz up.
And I enjoyed the little finger warmer sensation at bed time.

Then, I noticed it. The smell of a woman. Coming from me.
I could tell what I had for lunch when I changed at the gym.
I realized why some guys just Won't. Go. There. after a long day.
There was a familiarity about that bottom filing drawer that should NEVER come to you while at work.
I knew that the woman in me was curious what her womaness looked like in its natural state; the woman in me that does laundry was dismayed at her inability to wear pants twice or thrice before washing.
I knew I had the power in my showered little hand.

And I hacked myself naked for the first time in a month.

Now, I am realizing all this while in the potty today. Its been a full day and a half since I dulled that razor and I am starting to get a little uncomfortable with growback stubble - surely the reason I decided to let it go the last time, since the legs haven't been lucky enough to miss the triumphant fun of stripping their top layers and being whipped by winds in the last month.

I then realized, in the ambiance that just sat with me as the heat from my legs and my pants aired before me, a bonus to being a girl.
You can change the scent of being a woman with a simple everyday habit - scented lotion.
Last week I was a bit sweet with a distinct musk that only comes with body oils having something to hang on to - this week I am a fruity floral that can only come in a muted orange bottle labeled "Embrace Today".
So there I was, sitting on the pot in the potty spot leaning over my knees to sniff the generous scents of womanness and Embrace Today and looking at my freshly shaved cooter and how nicely it all fits together there in the folds of my skin...

Ah, crap. Well, my mind is now racing over all that fun stuff. And I still have an hour to kill. Before I got to the gym. To see the little 20 yr old I saw stocking the melons at the store two weeks ago. And my gym rat dude who apparently came off hiatus and now has clients to keep him in my view every night of the week. And that other buff ass gym rat dude who is there Every Time I am and doesn't remember that I was the chick everyone was supposed to be super nice to when I started there (membership mishap, I don't wanna talk about it) and That is why he automatically posts a big salesman smile with the wink when I walk by. Mmmmm... and all the freshies who were in football last year and now in the off season get to work out with the normal people.
Yep, I'm officially ready for CBW.
I've realized how nice it is to have a cleaned off cooter, enjoyed the heated scent of myself mixed with the flavor of the day, and somehow imagined myself finding out how well I can work on my wrist strength with half the gym that I will be at in 45 min.
Ohm. Ohm. Ohm.
The big upside to having fluff on my muff was that when this little storm started its brewen I would have a natural barrier before the squishies got to me.
Oh, thats another fun word - squishy. Squishhhhy. Sqoooooishy. Sqooch. Cooch.
Ah boogers I did it again!!!! Boogers. Boog. Boogie. Booogga booogga. Pooka. Pookie. Poodie. Poodie Tang. Poonanie.
Fuck it, I have to go take care of something -

5 comments:

Laurie said...

You are a walking tangent. I love it.

Nutso.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE SHAVED COOTERS!!!!!

Miss Sassy said...

laurie - Ah, Thanks. Its never been a source of compliment before!!! Usually its comes out more like "hey, can you EVER stay on topic?" to which I reply "um, I am totally so close to the topic and filling out the story is so not a problem to me but fine, I'll stop talking now. ::Hrumph::"

Oh, and YEAH!! Bald Beavers!! Yeah!!

curmudgeon said...

WOOHOO!!! BALD BEAVERS!!!
I wouldn't know persoanlly, but the stubble...AH!

Wanna chuckle? Well then, click: here.

Viewfinder said...

sure, i'll drink to that.

Miss Sassy said...

Curmudgeon - dated a guy with that blown up and on his freezer - eye level. Yep, I came back after seeing that. What can I say, he knew what to do with a Shaved Sassy.

VF - you know, I didn't??? No drinking last night. Freaky, but its easier to admire tender bits when you don't fall over trying to see them =)