Horoscopes

I read them every day.
Mostly because I get bored at work and the longer I do personal stuff, the less boredom I have to muster through.
So I have three that get emailed to me at various email addresses. One is all in depth with the whole spiritual aspect involved, another is so full of "could", "maybe", and "perhaps" that it could be written by a 5 year old when asked if they got into the cookie jar, and the third is a one sentance "here is you day, deal" quickie.
This morning I was not fooled by the empty Miss Menthol chair. As I read the second inbox worth of worthless junk, she comes in and tells me three times that she was just running late again. By the time she sits, talks to her computer screen, gets her boogers all aligned for maximum audio confermation that she is indeed still breathing, and pops in a piece of gum (yep, the mastication begins the moment she gets here), I notice a trend.
The soulful three paragraph tour of my day mentioned allowing others to be themselves and take every frustration as a chance to learn about oneself. The single wishywashy paragraph said my mental aspects are gonna be sharp as a tack and they will be tested to keep my emotions in line, that I suck at emotional control and today there will be nonstop hurdles to condition me to have my emotional aspects meet the mental agility I have control over. The one liner was simply "Some challenging situations might be in your way right now -- the most important being how you're going to speak your mind without losing your temper. Learn to acknowledge all your feelings. "

So its quarter to 10am and I have my headphones in already. I figure if I can keep quiet and at my desk like a hermit, I won't go OFF on whoever decides its a good day to ask me what all the papers at my desk are doing at my desk.

Fortunately I went to the yoga class last night. She had us standing on our heads and doing back bends and all these inverted poses that are supposed to be good for clearing the mind.
I already feel the tingle in my shoulders... as sure sign my ears will have pedastols to rest on in short order... or that I'll be ready to forceably toss anything thats in my way.

Oh, and that one where your legs are spread wide and you lean to the right with your right hand down your right leg and your left arm to the sky? Its called the triangle. And the little teacher chick said "gooood" when she walked by my triangle. But the room is full of mirrors and I can see that the only reason my right hand is on my ankle instead of the floor is the fat roll created in this position. My muscles were loose, my balance was awsome, and I couldn't stretch any more because of the spare tire created by squishing the fat together in the middle.
So I'm gonna be a little hungry until that goes away.
You've been warned.
And I'm NOT telling my coworkers. They will just have to see if I can speak my mind without loosing my temper all on their own.

Quick good will wishes to Avatar; being a temp sucks and being a temp that gets fired right after affirmations that you rock sucks monkey balls.