Friday, October 28, 2005

My Red Shoes

It is a mentally documented fact that every single time I wear my red shoes I get a compliment on them. They have graced my wardrobe for two years and I wear them about once a month. The are a mule in maroon, boxy in front, open in back, on a 3"wide heel, and cost me $12.99 at Payless.
Today I was standing over a binder and a girl with great fashion sense determinedly walks into the cube with a direct aim at the printer to my right. As her step rock the desk, she spouts "CUTE SHOES!!!!! I L O V E red shoes... love um, love um, love um!" I said a quick thanks and noticed her admire my footwear on the way out.
A far cry from last year about this time when I was in the grocery store and an anciently elderly woman in the line next to mine turned to her paid helper who was gazing at a balloon hoping to suck the helium and get a mental break from this wretched hag and said "In my day, used to be only whores would wear red shoes. Thats how we'd tell they were whores; by the shoes..."
Somehow today's emphatic overjoyed comment made me think of this and if I hadn't been sniffing toner fumes for the previous two hours I might have been able to match her excitement but all I could think was of this hag who caught me on a day when I had plenty of non-nauseated energy and still not enough cahones to say:
1) "whatdaya say grandma, wanna watch? I'll take that six pack as payment"
2) "how about me and your sexy little friend give you a show right here; thats what the whores in my day do to let us know where they are"
3) "hey, I don't see you commenting on the string thong staring you in the face... keep your comments in your own lane for better karma"
4) "being a whore sure makes me a lot less frustrated than I used to be - I used to get my jollies by pointing out how others fall into my judgements... evolution of the mind is a terrible thing to not believe in"
5) "enjoy that deli prepared egg salad ma'am. I like the crunchy crust too - especially because its $.50 off when it has it!"
6) "I don't wear pantyhose either... easier entry I find... damn these express lanes, my date is gonna think I found a new beau in here and I'm out $100"
7) "fuck you. nice mumu you wench"

But today I got three positive comments on my shoes and one "I have the same ones and I LOVE them!" I am debating strutting the mall... I need new jeans since I recall sleeping in these the entirety of last weekend and only just now realized I didn't loose 5 lbs but rather forgot to do laundry on Wed. like I was going to. Fuck it. Its payday. I'll buy new jeans at the mall. Two weeks and two days since I shaved and all.

1 comment:

Mom of Three said...

Every time I wear my combat boots, I get comments. Not sure they're even in the same language as the ones you get!