Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Crisis of Vanity

I emplore the women to question... if left to your own devices, how often would you shave your legs?
Seriously single, not even the prospect of a coffee date on the horizon, the only thing between you and pants for the rest of your life is the amount of time you can spend at the washing machine... how long would you go?
This hit me as I was in the restroom at work today. I was shocked to realize that it has been a full two weeks. You get past the growing right back in phase, then sit in jammys all Sunday while the it-itches-when-my-jeans-move phase passes, and there isn't even any noise in the slacks anymore because the hairs are SO pliable at this point. So when is the cut off?
Usually for me its the ingrown hair stage but I seem to have missed that this time (usually at one week when another Saturday rolls around and I can take the time to delicately massage the skin and prepare it for the scraping and slicing of its outer layers and give the proper follow up time of lotion and baby oil with just enough fresh air after the apparent assault so as to avoid three days of reminders that its only another two minutes to avoid the rash of razor burn next time). I'm thinking of convincing myself my skirts are too cute to leave taking up half my wardrobe and never put to use but the deal is I just painted my toenails and all my cute heels to go with the skirts are closed toed so its really been working out well to have cute little flats, flashy toes, and cuffs at the bottoms of my pants in this chilly but not cold weather.
Please, I beg of you - give me a reason (besides feeling more sexy for my vibrator sessions - not to be discounted but I'll get some either way) to endure breaking in a fresh razor blade on skin that is finally adjusted to the weather, new water district, brand new laundry detergent, and having a barrier from the rub and tug of nylons or jeans!!!
It is tempting to introduce myself as an earthy type but the hairspray, lip gloss, two foundations, and three eye shadow colors Might throw them off a bit. ;) Maybe I'll get it waxed to remind me shaving isn't so bad... only if the shoulder massage is included though.

2 comments:

Mom of Three said...

If left to my own devices I would never shave anything. Forget legs, I would stop shaving my BKINI LINE. It's a garden, let it grow! But nooooooo. I shave more and more places as time goes on, but at least I don't have to shave the outsides of my ears, like my husband!

Miss Sassy said...

I did the same thing with letting the razor travel... at this point a full body wax would be the only thing that would compete with my razor's range!
Oh, and the burn of a quick razor on a dry day =( =(
Actually the bikini is one area that is all for me - didn't start that way I PROMISE but now the thongs fit so much better when they have nothing to tug on when I sit down =)