Monday, December 04, 2006

Crock of Shit

Look at ME!!!
Two posts in one day??!?!?!?

Well, I just despised myself for the last one, so I had to update, but I couldn't edit the last one because this is a totally different train of thought.
OK, not really, but I didn't want to ruin the gloom of the last one with a suger induced twitch fit of mild normalcy. Follow all that??

So this is what happened - I vented to my friends. I went to lunch. I had chocolate cake while waiting for my tri tip topped salad. YUM and a HALF. I just love this BBQ place and they now LOVE ME cuz I'm in there like at least once a week (ouch on the wallet, but OH YEAH to the satisfaction from a lunch break). Talked MORE to my friends. Got some closure on some stuff at work - nothing I started my day thinking I would be doing, but at least these little projects wouldn't haunt 2 days. Call to Techie, he is in a Super Sugarfied Sassy mood, we yuck it up for a good 20 minutes as he checks on this ticket and that and helps me with 2 things that came up while I had him on the line. We hung up and I had... yep... a little one but it was surely a specimen... a little smile was lingering on my lips.

Well fuck me sideways, I was happier than a pack of boy scouts at a pie eating contest to find that my face hurt from turning UP instead of sliding DOWN.

The nagging depressive tugged my ear, asking if this wasn't another case of the co-dependent getting her fix of someone who sees her as a female with all her perks and I told that little whinny bitch to shut up and wait her turn for another trip on the Psychotic Freak Mobile. I told that devil horned monster that 4 days a week she had control and that was entirely too much of my time and that this whisp of a smile was going to be coaxed and coddled until it was a full blown real happiness even if it only lasts for a minute because 2 days of tears and snot and hiding and avoiding is plenty enough to warrent the enjoyment of hearing the exasserbated reaction of a Skittle falling from a friends mouth and leaving an orange streak down his baby blue shirt. I nursed that little smile, that aching unfamiliar burst of spontaneous muscle contraction to health... and so far, the little devil bitch has decided my betrayal of her evil forces is a crock of shit and she has gone into hiding.

So, I've asked him about 47 times if he'd join me, but do you think a trip to Hawaii is thanks enough to Techie for facilitating such a quick recovery?


Mom of Three said...

Man, I thought you were on a permanet upswing.

And yes, we trade one set of problems for another, always.

But then, it's good to have a good laugh, in spite of it all.

Mom of Three said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mom of Three said...

Shit. Delete that second one, please.

Stacey said...

Sugar much? Well that was much better than the previous post! Let me know how Tuesday treats you....good I hope! Yea maybe dinner with Techie 1st...before a trip to Hawaii would be good.

Miss Sassy said...

MOT - really??? the SAME troubles with different names for ever and ever?? Guess its good I like my woes so much then, huh? I bore of them, but I keep them, its this doublethink I can't get rid of =)

Stacey - uh, yeah. and yeah. and alright so far, busier than an ant trail at a picnic but finally got some breakfast so thats good. and OH YEAH - there will be no blind date trip taking for Techie - hes fun, but its a phone call, he could have halitosis or fungus toes.

vincentblackshadow said...

Nice to see the The Sass is back on track.

Keep on smiling.....

Miss Sassy said...

Vince - back?? on track???? what are you smoken??
Maybe just tired of hating every day, back to being cynical instead of sappy.
But I intend to smile about it, even if its the devil's grin >:)

Jamie said...

You know, a prescription for Celexa would really help with these mood swings. Seriously, have you ever talked to a Dr about this? You have a lot of the symptoms of clinical depression, and they could treat that pretty easily.

Miss Sassy said...

Jamie - I haven't had "my doctor" since I was a kid.
Even my yearly chick checkup is whatever clinic is closest to my house that month.
I just signed up for benifits, I intend on getting a full workup, and I KNOW its depression, but isn't the SWING part of life?? And I can talk myself into thinking I'm living the full spectrum because I know the intensities of the SWING??
no... huh... yeah, a cut on the price of medical care is giving me all kinds of ideas for stuff to get checked out...
Look who's looken out for me!!

Jamie said...

"These are the days that have you sobbing in revalation after revalation in the work bathroom stall at 9:45pm.

Life happens. Things Change. Memories are made, then forgotten. Hearts hurt. Fingers bleed.

Nothing that unusual happened today. Lots of little unlikeable things happened in one day, but nothing I haven't bitched about here before.

What the difference was in today's concoction of bullshit that had me bent over my panties dropping tears onto my kneecaps, I'm not exactly sure."

Ok - weeping in the bathroom for no reason is not a normal swing of life.
Many years ago, my girlfriend of the time (now my wife) had similar emotional swings and we didn't recognize it, until we woke me up one night sobbing uncontrollably for no reason. I recognized at that point that there was something wrong with her that I couldn't help with, and sent her to a doctor. The doctor recognized her sympoms of depression and put her on Celexa. Her life has been 1000 times easier/better ever since. No more emotional rollercoaster. Sure, the highs are fun, but they aren't worth the lows!

Make sure you mention all this when you do go get that full work up.
You could just give the doctor a link to your blog... :-)

Of course, the only sad part if you go on something is that your blog won't be quite as wild. :-)

I just want you to be healthy and well.

Miss Sassy said...

Jamie - I'm Googling it this afternoon =) Some side effects aren't worth their fixing abilities, and I've been told that some would kill the things I've always enjoyed most. Precision in the execution is what I'm looking for, and if it can flatten my tummy and round out my tits a bit more and clear up adult acne too, I'd be in no matter how much libido it suppressed =)