Friday, April 28, 2006

Appreciate Your Admins

So I had 90% of a rocken, hot, Sassy, fresh post about my week and work and home and gym and how I am the bestest most awsome Secretary (yeah, I said it - boo ya PC lametard terms) and how they were all bowing to my savvy and then I got spanked with them taking advantage of my work ethic and "letting" me work 7:30am-6pm TWO DAYS IN A ROW after "letting" me miss the break part of 'lunch break' ALL WEEK because they catered lunches and I didn't have a reason to fight with the girls about me getting some fresh air so I didn't snap and jab a pencil in their neck the next time they start talking RIGHT IN MY EAR when I'm on a phone call and looking at a candidate and entering data into the profile they are asking if I've seen.


Then for the first time in THREE WEEKS, New Girl insists that I leave my desk on the set time instead of asking if I am in the middle of 14 things and do I want to finish 1 or 6 of them in the next 5 minutes while she gets her stack of crap to do at my desk together.
Today she's all "GO.TAKE.LUNCH. It will be here when you get back!"
Where was this attitude on Tuesday, my first day coming in at 7:30am (I have NEVER worked this early folks - EVVVVVVER!)???? PahLeeezzze Sweet Sore Butt Cheeks, where was this when I had to call her at 5pm and remind her that she didn't relieve me for a lunch break and that I had been working since before she woke UP and that I would like to see what its like to get off NINE HOURS after walking in and taking up my shackled position at the phones.
So I come back from my forced lunch today to find that she closed all my stuff from this morning and that your wonderful, spunky, witty post about how lovely it is to be showered with flowers and gifts and praise only to realize I will be clocking 39.5 hours in FOUR days this week with no reprise from Mousy since she is the reason my PLANNED hours for today are 7:30am-6pm (yesterday New Girl came in with a migrane and decided at 3pm she couldn't stay so I was 'allowed' to cover my own desk until 6pm . Yeah. Thanks. Tell me AFTER I forgo the break for lunch for the free food for Administrative Professionals Day instead of turning on your heels when you WALK IN ready to puke you too-scared-to-piss-off-Mousy dumbass).
Apparently when your the manager and you want the day off, you loose your authority to tell your employee that she can't have the day off too. I heard all about it as Mousy yacked her complaints to me FROM MY DESK.
Yep, she kept me from doing my job so she could tell me how she can't do hers.

Its now after HALF of my lunch hour (New Girl and I are taking 2 half hour lunches to better accomodate being stranded as each others only hope for backup all day and then being stranded All Alone with 4 scheduled candidates in the same 1/2hr time block. Thanks LameTards).
The RockStar is cracked.
The deli foods are half eaten.
The King Sized M&Ms I got handed to me is being snacked on.
The coffee has been topped off.
The water bottle is full.
I'm prepared to sit here until the sun goes down if thats what it takes to do my job WELL and be sure I'll be notifying Big Boss of all the stuff I did that Mousy didn't do that I took care of today while doing my job AND catching up for the time I had to listen to her (and everyone else in the whole office - like gossip and backstabbing are contagious and they are trying to get me to catch it or some shit).

Peace to you all. Its the afternoon lull here in Sales Friday Deadline Hell - Location 051. I beg of you to sincerely thank your admins for taking your shit all the time and remembering to Come.Back.For.More.Every.Day even though you normal treat them at their level - the bottom of the totem pole (don't believe me? When is the last time you bought them lunch? Do you know where their pay scale is compared to the rest of your company?? Toss them some M&Ms once in a while - we are like hungry lonely dogs that come back for any modest display of affection).

Hey Guess What!!! My sister is coming to visit ME this weekend!! Like I get to stay home AND visit with real live humans!!! I'm thinkin lunch in Malibu, use the Blockbuster gift card I got with my flowers for Admin Day, and lots and lots of vodka so I forget that I booked 39 hours in a 4 day week so I come back on Monday.
Cuz seriously, how am I supposed to pay for blog reading internet access without a job??

Tuesday, April 25, 2006


Turns out I'm growing up.

For instance, this is my 100th post. A graduation in itself. I gave myself larangitis for the occasion!!
It coincided with my sisters birthday and a trip to Magic Mountain and 9 world class roller coasters to celebrate, but I figure I'll be so bummed with not being able to talk that email will be my only refuge.
See? Thinkin ahead. Sure sign of leaving the whimsy of childhood behind.

A recap of recent realizations that have lead me to this conclusion:

Its officially been 14 weeks since any carnal pleasures have included another's touch and I am embracing my celebacy. I'm finding it very liberating to see how long I can have the same razor in the shower, how many days I can go without a shower or a phone call, and I'm counting days instead of hours between the "Why Not Me?" that comes with singledom. Somehow not being judged on my sexual prowess alone is making me realize that whoever finally comes along that can endure the rest of my talents will be worth the wait (because I am finding my personality perks up when not stiffled by, um, MEN.)

In true psycho menstruating change her mind woman form - my Mojo is back. Yes, I am coming into my singledom and bragging that I'm being noticed by my male counterpart agian. Sure, the chicks at the gym patting my ass and the grandpa aged men sparkling that I got their joke and retorted to wit is fine... but seeing which beer is MORE on sale and giving my number to two cool cats my age with a party coming up who saw me and had to talk to me and get my number before they got into the beer case... well, thats better.
I don't even need him to call actually, I just needed the ego stroke of being noticed by guys my age - progress ya'll.

I've elicited change in my workplace. It took only weeks be get off the temporary payroll and onto a permanent gig, and in less than a month my influences are being felt in the entire office. Heck, even my ideas are coming out of my managers mouth!! She came up to me last week and spouted about changing hours to better accomodate everyone - the exact words I used in the conversation three days before were pouring from her (in a much snottier fashion, but whatever they were my thoughts)! And I got my way =)
No longer am I the lemming in the cube - I'm now the sqweeky voice that answers phones and smiles pretty again. I've been any number of titles for the same job for all my work since college and I'm damn good at it and gosh darn it, people like me. And I like them. In the first week at this job, my roomies noticed a positive change in attitude. Sure I sold out to the man, but only for six months. When this job came around, I knew the pay cut would hurt but that my soul would be crushed if I were to permanently have all day every day to check blogs. Nothing personal, but Nothing revives a people person like having to deal with people all day.

My sass is back. I realized that life is day by day and why not crack a joke under your breath about the instructors birthday being his 12th and maybe he'll finish puberty soon? Why not laugh at yourself when you trip walking up stairs you walk every day? Why not smile at the retarded bagger who Just Had To Bag Each Item In Case Of A Spill Of The Soup and throw a bigger smile at the checker who is just so sick of hearing the narration of his events?? Why not stand up tall, walk into a room chest first, and demand attention because I am a person with merit and its ok to notice me??
It left for a while. Remember?? Well, when I grow up, I want to be stronger than the person I was a few months back and so I am practicing. Well, maybe I'm more like deciding that my best isn't gonna wait until I'm grown all the way up - that now is grown up enough to start being what I 'will be when I grow up'.

Maturation. Its bound to happen eventually. I take it as a compliment that I'm still carded but that they are surprised I am so much younger than they thought. Its like in the military when you see a blazer with all those badges of honor dangling - people don't look at me and assume my naivety anymore because I'm wearing my badges.
I've got an arsenol of beauty treatments to ensure it will never be the skin telling my age. I'd rather a look in the eye prove that I have lived in my life.

"In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey." Remember that line from that song?? It just came on the radio =) Its the same song that promotes you "go crazy with the Cheez Whiz". Kind of appropriate actually - it took me until THREE MONTHS AGO to understand the song "White Lines".
Yup. I've been a pup.
On purpose.

I figured it this way - at twelve - why be grown up if I don't have to?? Look at the life span nowadays. Why move out if I can avoid paying rent? Why rush out to get a job if I'm gonna have one forever once I get started? There had to be something about this 'childhood' business that made everyone wish they could go back to it so I decided to be a kid as long as possible.

I'm 26 and a half and I'm officially deciding not to call myself a kid anymore. I'm gonna use 'youngen' if 70somethings ask me, but these days I'm looking around at what I have and where I've been and what I've done and who I've become and there is just no calling me 'kid' anymore.

Its the 100th post. Its been 6 months since I started. The people in my life have changed considerably. My job has changed. I'd moved into this place I think two weeks before my first post, but my roomies have changed anyway. My priorities have changed from reruns to gym classes and from vodka to protein bars and from having someone to call after work to being glad I don't sit by the phone waiting for anyone. I've slept with three guys in a week and I've gone three months with only giving phone sex.
I dress like a grown up every day now.
And I look goooooood.

The trick is that I don't know where to go now. We don't really get a road map past college do we? I had it all laid out until there and here I am 5 years later and looking around at the vast opportunities and stumbling over little things like choosing an IRA over a mexican cruise and wondering if helping my sister is hurting us both and how much moxy is appropriate when you see your managers missing big opportunities for streamlining.
But the first step is knowing where I stand I suppose. And since I missed the part where I traded in my patent leather mary janes with lacy socks for hiking boots to get up and over this hill, I'm quite thrilled to realize, with my 100th post tipping me off, that I am indeed movin on up.

I was hoping to change my template but did you catch that I was at a theme park ON A MOUNTAIN today?? Yeah, I'm bushed. But I've wanted to do this post since last weekend so deal. Maybe I'll even organize my photos and get those back in the mix too huh??
Thanks for checkin in, I've been so slovenly on this front, but soon, very soon, my weekends will be mine again and my weekdays will have a little me time in them and Presto Viola I'll have stuff to blah blah blah about again. =)

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Death and Taxes

Its Saturday night and in my house that means that the only good time being had is by the dogs who are enjoying the thrill of realizing that when cats are chased, they become infinately more chaseable.
As for the humans, we have one out of town for the holiday (though that didn't keep her Squeeky voice from keeping me up last night, waking me this morning, and excusing away that she had to stomp around at 2pm to prove that she wasn't pissed that we decided to be in the kitchen to have lunch when she was trying to nap), another sleeping it off, and T deciding a shower might help her stay asleep since the ex b/f that she spent all week with and was here until 9:30am in her bed even with her at work at 6am keeps calling her to, um, be sure shes where he can get to her.
Then there's me.
Doing my taxes online.
Tried it??
Seems easy.
Get the form. Fill it out. Email it somewhere. Get my check in a month because I'm a looooooo-zaheeerrrrrr and lost my W-2 behind my bed and it took a FULL DAY of spring cleaning my room before I could move the desk that is my headboard enough to see it sitting there where I crumpled it when I made my bed that time.

I am starting to realize why people start protests.
And petitions.
And sit ins.
Its so the Hill Dwellers might see there is a FUCKUP in the system.

The federal site gives you a list of sites to that will do your taxes for free but I started 3 before I realized they take my address and give me the basic deduction THAT IS PRINTED ON THE 1040 ALREADY and won't take my W-2 info until I cough some cash. I found one that is letting me input some stuff but when my aunt called for the third time to remind me that I'm in charge of the garlic bread to go with our lasagna and turkey for our "small Easter dinner" (I get to bring whatever I'm drinking too... I think the fresh bottle of Disaranno will be toast inside of 4 hrs), it timed out and is now locked up and the home page doesn't have a 'login' button so I get to start over.
I kinda get that they don't want a conflict of interest for having you use THEIR site to file, but since I got the pdf of the form and downloaded it and filled it out from, I'm not sure why that PO Box in that city that is only PO Boxes for IRS filings doesn't have an email address yet.
I'm just say'n. Is it THAT fucking hard to read off a screen instead of a piece of paper? Can't I 'sign' it on your site??? Don't tell me is worried about hackers but TurboTax isn't. THAT would piss me off.

So I decide to take a mini break, pour a 12oz margarita (4 ice cubes, CaboWabo tequila to cover the cubes, then margarita mix 'with the tequila already in it!' even though the bottle says its 25 proof and every tequila I've seen is 80ish - even after I add the sour mix and Triple Sec my margaritas have GOT to be about 50 proof), and try my state taxes.
Fuck dude.
Just fuck.

Again, easy form, one page, right off my W-2 (can I TELL you how glad I was that the handful of waded paper wasn't ALL the tag from my box spring!!??!?!).
Only this one won't let me save a copy.
Or save changes.
And I have to print a copy because it won't let me save one.
And I have to print it before I efile it.
And I don't have a printer and T is home and she is trying to pass out but she will be gone at 6am tomorrow because she got JACKED when the old chick healed her snowboarding accident and took all the good shifts back so I'll try to rouse myself at a reasonable hour and do my CA taxes in one helluva Good Easter Morning To Ya speed run.
Then go clean out the candy dish of all the M&Ms that T thinks are so cute (but not when they end up splitting her pants - true story) and has many many many bags of replacements that I can gorge on before the lasagna and turkey feast.

Oh, the death part is fun too.
I couldn't keep my room clean and even without doing laundry for three weeks I didn't have any room in my closet or drawers (yes, I have THAT many panty options on any given day but I was running out of gym clothes and places to stack the dirty laundry) so I took a look around and realized that I packed the really cute old school deep and kinda narrow desk drawers and never unpacked them... this meant if I could find a place for my kitchie knick knacks I could stash my camis and bras somewhere.
And I did it!!!
Helped create a hole in the mass of crap that hid my carpet so I could slide the furniture around and find the W-2s.
Making sense why it took all day???
Well, I'll admit I had to dust the spaces I was clearing for the new stuff and search every paper and card and postit for a clue as to where my Secret Safe W-2 place was... but mostly I got distracted by the contents of the drawers.
Some of it I hadn't touched since I moved from Northern California.
Two years in July.
[Somehow the taxes were easier to do from there, what is that about? ]
But seeing the 3x3 pics I filled the 12 frames with to adorn my first desk for my first post college job with... and realizing how many of the pictures were taken by people I will never see again... and to see people that I lost along the way... and seeing the pooch with an all black kisser instead of the powdered doughnut eater look she has now... and seeing times and places and events that were WAY before the loss and heartache and moves and jobs and roomies and remodels and drugs and deaths and bankruptcies and lonliness.

Hence the margarita when the taxes took more than an hour to EMAIL MY NUMBERS IN.

I mean Come.On.
I was thinking the the IRS server might crash or the inbox might be full or some crap, not that they don't want me to get my numbers in!!!
Add to that the newly full windowsill of memories staring me down in my frustration and you get 4 shots of tequila and tequila'd mixer to top it off.

Blockbuster and Vons are open on Easter; think the gym will let me in? I'll need a little something healthy to mix in this weekend of memories and mixers and frustration and family.

I DID get a gracious five finger discount at my sisters old place on a tiny TV with a DVD player in it so I could curl up in my room and watch movies - and it only took me 5 days to get it from my backseat to my bedroom- THAT was a helluva Friday night ya'll, lemme tell YOU! Thinkin of a repeat, but I'm thinkin taxes are more important than taking in a romantic comedy.
Making tonight that much more decadently devilish - with the contrast and all.

Off to try another round of "please, just tell me if I owe you or if I am still lame enough to have paid you too much and you get to give me some of MY MONEY BACK".
After I suck on this ice cube...

Monday, April 10, 2006

Made It.

I put 1100 miles on a rented cargo van.
The capper of the weekend was unloading the stuff into my aunts garage. We talked about how my sister can't pay for a new calling card and how my aunt is late on her electric bill but how we were hungry so we went across the street to the steak house Aunties Dreamboat/Fiancee works at and had what turned out to be $100 dinner. On my card.
I ordered crab cakes and a bottle of beer.
The rest of the weekend was kinda on that par.

I will be waking up extreeeeeemly early in the morning to unload the TV I lifted from the squaters paradise my sister was living in along with the DVD player she somehow yanked from my stuff and kept in working order this whole time before returning the rented cargo van and then going to start a work week that is already set up to be anything but predictable.

Its 11:30pm and I had to get online for some semblence of anything happening this weekend that I had any desire to do. I don't know if I have a clean pair of pants for work tomorrow, but I'll find out soon enough.

For now, I am thrilled to be in bed, covers to my shoulders, pupster sprawled all up my leg and snoring a bit.
Perhaps the pillow will rub the WELCOME sign off my forehead, or at least refresh my ego so I don't feel so much like a doormat.

Fuckin family. Why did I give them my new number again? Tell me they aren't all like this, or I'm not starting one of my own or getting any inlaws EVER.

(hey Curmudgeon, its a real shorty!!! Check it Mr. Smuggiepants! HA! I knew I could do it!!)

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Dude. Um. What?

ANOTHER post about work, but I swear its a quicky.
And aren't we glad its not the SAME crap about chomping carrots and smelling of menthol and hearing freakishly small women giggling in the next cube and then coming over and snarling at open personal emails??? HHmmm??
Or is it all the same drivel and I SO need to get a life so ya'll will stop falling asleep by the end of my novella posts?

Either way, this is getting posted.
(sidebar: is there some official 100th post thing bloggers do? Its coming up quick and I don't want to miss out on some bonding like the memes or tagging or ABC list about yourself or whatever else you guys spread like lice to each other.)

So there has been an open position in the back for about a week now. The chick with the WAY too tall heels for her TweedleDee body frame and NO NOT EVER smiles demeanor finally quite waiting for a replacement and started her new job last Friday.
This is a temp agency and I know for a fact we interviewed not only 5 women specifically for the position in the last two weeks, but another 15 candidates to rifle through and ask if they are interested. Now, of the 20, to be fair, only about 7 would I consider really strong contenders... but WHAT goes on at that desk that its easier to keep interviewing for The.Only.Perfect.Replacement and suck up and take over the work than just PICK ONE and go with it and keep a lookout if she turns out to be retarded???
My questions were answered when I walked in this morning to find 2 almost welcoming faces at my desk. One was who normally covers my mornings and lunch break on Wednesdays, the other was a cutie we interviewed last week.
Turns out that for my 1 month anniversary at that desk, and my 1 week anniversary being a permanent employee, I get to train a freshie!!! Not just train, but she shadowed me the whole day. And I got NOTHING done until she left!!!

What is that?? How is it possible that all I did was talk to her about what I was normally doing through my day and I looked up at 5pm to find Not One Tinsy Bitsy bit of my inbox had been touched???
Sure, we had a surprisingly l0w number of no-shows AGAIN today, and she did stock me up on some copies, and the tech support guys were only too happy to chit chat with me since I have a personality and most tumbleweeds can't remember why they called... and when Mousy and, um, I don't have a name for her yet and Newbie were all at my desk when I came back from lunch they ALL looked shocked at the 7 new 20min projects that crowded my desk and were ALL waiting for me to throw a fit but all I gave them was "yep, its the afternoon, better get cracken!" just to watch them fluster at my ability to take it all in stride and then rack up the overtime... but is it really a good policy to hire a coworker and not even email people that there will be a new face that BELONGS on the other side of the security door???
I mean selfish desires to know what I'm doing that day BEFORE I sit down to do it aside, isn't there some kind of respect for others clause that demands you maybe mention that you offered the position to a few of the interviewees before sitting a blank stare next to the freshest meat in the building and asking for the still bleeding to wipe the spring green off someone else???
She was a quick learner and ready to chip in, but its a one person desk and since its not my position she will be taking over I felt bad that she had to endure a whole day of watching me not get anything done for the sole purpose of, well, I guess making sure she can cover a lunch break. Its important, I know, but a Whole Day?? She won't do 80% of my job!!
Heres a phone. Here is a list of extensions.
Here is a program. This is the printer it will spit out of.
This is where you leave everything for when I come back in an hour to do my job.
Training done in one hour.
So by the end of the day she was telling me her life story and all was well.

Tell you what though. Let Mousy come give me the cocked eyebrow about the applications tomorrow and I will tell her how to do her job AGAIN.
Now I'm excited. That could be rediculous fun!!!

Off for the long haul this weekend; plenty to tell when I return I'm sure.
I am just RACKEN UP the karma for spending this weekend renting a van, driving 1000 miles late night and snow conditions to move a chick whos idea of sisterly love is calling once a month and crying that her life is falling apart to me or my voice mail but not having a phone number to reach her at EVER.
Racken Um UP ya'll.
Wheres the glass case, I wanna pick some prizes. (like Chuck E. Cheese. 'member?)

Oh, and FUCK daylight savings time. I haven't been able to get to sleep before 2am all week. Its like my eyelashes are reaching for my hairline and my eyeballs are popping out of my head - THATS how awake I am right now at 1:05am after 5 hrs of sleep for the last three nights.
Where is THAT petition to sign? This night owlness kicken in BLOWS.

Oh again. Tempura talked to me last night - like a conversation with real full sentances and no one word answers!!! - and kinda mentioned that he might be thinking of telling his friends I'm his girlfriend.
Why didn't I freak out??? Where is that commitmentphobe we know and love to hate??
Thrilled that some guy is thinking nice things about me.
Chilled because he is across the country and has no bearing on my current lifestyle or lifestyle changes.
Also, at this rate, the likelyhood of anything happening that would be worthy of a freakout is about as likely as me puking butterflies.
But its a nice idea that I might be considered a g/f for a phone sex quickie and for being, "frankly, because I can't think of a better way to say it, a woman [he] can tollerate."
Ain't he sweet? ::yack::
I busted his balls on that one, then realized how disappointing it is that I can talk sex for an hour and not have the slightest urge to rub the red mountain.


Maybe a quick rendevous in a town I've never been to and will never go back to will break the slump, hhmmm??

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

The Rest of the Story

This is what WAS at the bottom of "The New Job" post.
Go figure I got carried away with the chat.

I KNOW already.
Laugh anyway.
Go ahead. I'll wait.

Two posts in one night. At least I'm posting instead of falling into oblivion and making your blog roll look outdated because you keep waiting for a post and I decide, um, keeping my JOB and SHOWERING are more important than complaining about my life...

But since your already here, behold the stuff that runs through this girls head on a Monday evening...

1) He is on my mind again because its His bday this week and the good person in me LOVES when people call out of the blue just because its my bday but I know its a stupid selfish thing to do.
2) My sister needs to move and she is 500 miles away and somehow I am doing the renting and driving of the van that will get her to my aunts house - 30 miles away. I'm trying to be glad she is changing her life and letting family help her out but she lives in Snow Country and the highway right to her house apparently suffered mudslides recently. Maybe by Friday when it all goes down I'll be ready for a road trip and a draining of my checking account, but right now it pisses me off that I won't go to the gym Friday and have to pack all my crap Thursday so I may skip a class there too.
3) Its my half bday this week and I want to use it as a memorable date for some money matters. With all the investing and retirement options at hand, I suddenly realized that maybe I should give all that money to my car loan holder before getting all feisty, er, um, I mean Sassy with what I do with my money. Makes a little sense to start early with the retirement funds... but if I am paying interest rates higher than the return rates on the investments, I'm still not getting out of any hole, right??
4) The business in my closet was dusted and displayed two weeks in a row for a no show. She comes to my work (got fired from her temp job) and emails me. She refuses to call me. She asked three times if I'd bring the stuff to work this afternoon standing in front of me, and tonight I check my email and she asked again. DAMMMMITTTT. I was trying to think positively about maybe she would have lots of rich people who love to buy one of each of everything and this could kickstart my business... instead I remember why its in the closet!!! Whatever, if I bring her a bag of crap and some samples she'll think I'm a goddess and shower me with ANOTHER hour of chit chat about nothing I can remember while I am trying to clear out my three days old inbox... then buy me out!!! Ah, who are we kidding, she got fired from a temp job, she won't have money =(=(
5) My ex BFF is thrilled to bits about a Mexico cruise in June and is now incessantly asking if I've plopped the cash to go. Its a wedding for her new BFF and I don't know anyone but them and they will be ALL about the wedding and I would rather drive through Mexico and get the feel of the culture instead of the pretty painted port city and the amount of food I could injest and the sunburn I will surely endure and the time off work and all that crap... is what life and bonding are made of right??? Just tell me to go and I'll change my investment plans from 30 year to 30 day - live in the moment and all that. Somehow it seems like a lot of money to hang out with people I don't know and try to remain sober enough to recognize the ones I DO know.

Help a chicka out here, please.
The drama is getting thick and my Libran scales are tipping as my sleep gets hijacked by daylight savings and my normal "me time" activities of TV and drinking are loosing their lure.
Somehow there is part of me that thinks if I just had time to read my blogroll every day things would be better...

Monday, April 03, 2006

The New Job

So its been a month since I was in a cube.
I'm kinda missing the fresh meat parade that comes with a company that is comprised of 80% temp workers, but since I work the front desk at a Temp AGENCY, the fresh meat HAS to talk to me and they are always on their best gentlemanly behavior because they don't know I don't rate them/have control over their getting a job.
In fact, last week there was a 23 year old fresh from his water polo training that morning. Hes been on scolarship and taking extra units to stay a student at the university to play for the team. He was so beautiful and tall and latin and sweet and young and put together even the Big Boss said "isn't he a looker, eh??"
Yeah, its not too bad here.

I signed the paperwork to be a permanent employee last week. It kinda sucks that the paychecks won't be every week anymore, but people keep telling me its better to have a perm position than to be a temp, so I'm not gonna argue. Just because my coworker isn't getting commision off me anymore and I get paid the exact same (well, with taxes cutting me raw on a biweekly payment schedule, I'll make less I guess), and I do the same work at the same place, it didn't make THAT big a difference to me what kind of time card I filled out.
The staff was all thrilled that I was being 'promoted' and there is more of a sense of 'your permanent so be here and do good' now, so its better for them I guess.

Naturally I am a bit miffed at my immediate managers style. I am coming to realize I buck authority in my goddie two shoes way... I didn't really have cut and dry examples before, but its pretty obvious that if I think I come up with the idea myself it is BRILLIANT and if I am told to do something I will fuck it all up with malicious diligence.
For example, two weeks ago Mousy called my cell phone 45 min before I was to be in the office pleading with me that she was stuck answering phones all alone and if I could please if at all possible come in and rescue her she would appreciate it - I was 20 min late that day.
There is an evolution happening though.
Case in point: last week I walked in the door and picked up the phone at 9:03am. I needed her assistance with the callers request. I call her desk.
"Hi. Your late. AGAIN. What is it?"
"Hi. And I never get out of here before 6:15pm. EVER. And half the time I don't book OT about it. Maybe we should call my hours 9:05am-6:05pm and both breath easier??"
(this was said as I ripped off my wet coat, sat in my chair, logged in, opened 4 programs, and winked at one of the THREE candidates in the lobby who heard everything I said because I was just THAT happy to be barked at.)
"Great. Now will you take this call please?"

Another example of how Mousy is not exactly mentor material.
Last Friday, as she is leaving...
"I wish I could just go to my boyfriends and be there with him."
"oh, is he out of town this weekend?" (me, trying to look interested)
"no, my parents won't let me stay over at his place."
"Sorry. Um, can I ask how old you are??"
"23. Yeah, I don't want to talk about it."
"ok. so what ARE you going to do tonight, since what you want to do your parents won't let you?"
"probably homework. or maybe they rented a movie I'll want to watch with them."
"sounds good. have fun. bye."

Yep. My manager lives with her parents and has to do homework before visiting her boyfriend. I would have died if she told me they were her ride and waiting downstairs for her. I would have laughed right in her never smiling, always complaining about what day of the week it is, getting paid more than me because she learned how to suck ass before she got her Big Gold Stickered degree weasly little face.

Today. A jewel. She comes up to my desk and just stands over me until I turn around, look her in her beady eyes, and acknowledge her. Its about the time of day when lunch breaks are happening and I am thrilled at the idea that she is going to stick to HER schedule and kick me out at 1pm. You know already this is not what happened - why would I write that in the RANT section of the post???
My Mousy Manager looks me square in the eye and says "I'm not taking a lunch today. I am too exhausted to stay the full day and I have a ton of homework to do tonight anyway, so is it ok if I leave an hour early?"
Me - ::blink:: ::gasp because I forgot to breath in the presence of such an anomoly of heirarchy::
"I mean, will you be ok up here by yourself if I go early? Otherwise I guess I could take a lunch now..."
So then I sit staring at her in shock AND offense that she is asking me not only PERMISSION to leave early but if I won't grant that she will take MY lunch break.
I finally utter "no, I can handle 1.5 hrs instead of 1 hr alone on the phones, thats fine with me."
Her reply - "ok good!! I really don't want to stay late, I'm glad your ok with me leaving early."
I took lunch an hour later anyway, just because it was another fit of 'I don't know what I'm doing' when she wanted to go to the bathroom when I asked when a good time to break would be.

If I was better at drawing with keyboard characters I'd make a face right here. Wide mouthed shock. Hair blown back. Tonsils in plain view. Alas, all you get is my suckiness at trying to get this computer to hold a picture for me. Dumb corporate satalite p.o.s. won't let me store jpgs or some chytt (cool spelling, huh? I've been diggen it when I email a buddy who has naughty word blocker =) )

I know its time to change my Cubeville chat on the sidebar and stuff but seriously... I'd rather go shake my ass in front of the gym rats who do leg presses than reformat my blog.
Its taken me almost a week just to post - and I've started three this week!!
Maybe I'll be super cool and fork the dough to get someone to make a template for me... right after the dog gets a haircut, I get some food in the fridge, the shampoo gets replaced, and I find my damn W2s so I can do my taxes...

Lots more fun drama to talk about but I gotta bolt so use your imagination and comment on these tidbits of juicy dilemma:
Next post, it turned out to be WAY too much to just add at the bottom!