Thursday, April 06, 2006

Dude. Um. What?

ANOTHER post about work, but I swear its a quicky.
And aren't we glad its not the SAME crap about chomping carrots and smelling of menthol and hearing freakishly small women giggling in the next cube and then coming over and snarling at open personal emails??? HHmmm??
Or is it all the same drivel and I SO need to get a life so ya'll will stop falling asleep by the end of my novella posts?

Either way, this is getting posted.
(sidebar: is there some official 100th post thing bloggers do? Its coming up quick and I don't want to miss out on some bonding like the memes or tagging or ABC list about yourself or whatever else you guys spread like lice to each other.)

So there has been an open position in the back for about a week now. The chick with the WAY too tall heels for her TweedleDee body frame and NO NOT EVER smiles demeanor finally quite waiting for a replacement and started her new job last Friday.
This is a temp agency and I know for a fact we interviewed not only 5 women specifically for the position in the last two weeks, but another 15 candidates to rifle through and ask if they are interested. Now, of the 20, to be fair, only about 7 would I consider really strong contenders... but WHAT goes on at that desk that its easier to keep interviewing for The.Only.Perfect.Replacement and suck up and take over the work than just PICK ONE and go with it and keep a lookout if she turns out to be retarded???
My questions were answered when I walked in this morning to find 2 almost welcoming faces at my desk. One was who normally covers my mornings and lunch break on Wednesdays, the other was a cutie we interviewed last week.
Turns out that for my 1 month anniversary at that desk, and my 1 week anniversary being a permanent employee, I get to train a freshie!!! Not just train, but she shadowed me the whole day. And I got NOTHING done until she left!!!

What is that?? How is it possible that all I did was talk to her about what I was normally doing through my day and I looked up at 5pm to find Not One Tinsy Bitsy bit of my inbox had been touched???
Sure, we had a surprisingly l0w number of no-shows AGAIN today, and she did stock me up on some copies, and the tech support guys were only too happy to chit chat with me since I have a personality and most tumbleweeds can't remember why they called... and when Mousy and, um, I don't have a name for her yet and Newbie were all at my desk when I came back from lunch they ALL looked shocked at the 7 new 20min projects that crowded my desk and were ALL waiting for me to throw a fit but all I gave them was "yep, its the afternoon, better get cracken!" just to watch them fluster at my ability to take it all in stride and then rack up the overtime... but is it really a good policy to hire a coworker and not even email people that there will be a new face that BELONGS on the other side of the security door???
I mean selfish desires to know what I'm doing that day BEFORE I sit down to do it aside, isn't there some kind of respect for others clause that demands you maybe mention that you offered the position to a few of the interviewees before sitting a blank stare next to the freshest meat in the building and asking for the still bleeding to wipe the spring green off someone else???
She was a quick learner and ready to chip in, but its a one person desk and since its not my position she will be taking over I felt bad that she had to endure a whole day of watching me not get anything done for the sole purpose of, well, I guess making sure she can cover a lunch break. Its important, I know, but a Whole Day?? She won't do 80% of my job!!
Heres a phone. Here is a list of extensions.
Here is a program. This is the printer it will spit out of.
This is where you leave everything for when I come back in an hour to do my job.
Training done in one hour.
So by the end of the day she was telling me her life story and all was well.

Tell you what though. Let Mousy come give me the cocked eyebrow about the applications tomorrow and I will tell her how to do her job AGAIN.
Now I'm excited. That could be rediculous fun!!!

Off for the long haul this weekend; plenty to tell when I return I'm sure.
I am just RACKEN UP the karma for spending this weekend renting a van, driving 1000 miles late night and snow conditions to move a chick whos idea of sisterly love is calling once a month and crying that her life is falling apart to me or my voice mail but not having a phone number to reach her at EVER.
Racken Um UP ya'll.
Wheres the glass case, I wanna pick some prizes. (like Chuck E. Cheese. 'member?)

Oh, and FUCK daylight savings time. I haven't been able to get to sleep before 2am all week. Its like my eyelashes are reaching for my hairline and my eyeballs are popping out of my head - THATS how awake I am right now at 1:05am after 5 hrs of sleep for the last three nights.
Where is THAT petition to sign? This night owlness kicken in BLOWS.

Oh again. Tempura talked to me last night - like a conversation with real full sentances and no one word answers!!! - and kinda mentioned that he might be thinking of telling his friends I'm his girlfriend.
Why didn't I freak out??? Where is that commitmentphobe we know and love to hate??
Thrilled that some guy is thinking nice things about me.
Chilled because he is across the country and has no bearing on my current lifestyle or lifestyle changes.
Also, at this rate, the likelyhood of anything happening that would be worthy of a freakout is about as likely as me puking butterflies.
But its a nice idea that I might be considered a g/f for a phone sex quickie and for being, "frankly, because I can't think of a better way to say it, a woman [he] can tollerate."
Ain't he sweet? ::yack::
I busted his balls on that one, then realized how disappointing it is that I can talk sex for an hour and not have the slightest urge to rub the red mountain.


Maybe a quick rendevous in a town I've never been to and will never go back to will break the slump, hhmmm??


Ale8one said...

RRM - Rub the Red Mountain!

Mona Buonanotte said...

You'll get bonus karma points for helping your sister move. And I think I have some Chuckie Cheese tokens if you want to get a REAL prize!

So what's the female equivalent for 'rub the red mountain'?

curmudgeon said...

First, let me say - that post was a quicky?
What I've seen a lot of bloggers do when they do their 100th post is
"Yay me! This is my 100th post!"
There you have it.

A woman he can tolerate?
Good gawd. I'm guessing it's the other way around.

In the meantime, good luck with sis.
Take care.

Miss Sassy said...

Ale - seriously, the delirium - its better than drugs. No sleep + some bend at the hip then reach for the ceiling stretches = all KINDS of new thoughts!

Mona - I was All.About.Skeeball.Baby. Took home all kinds of crap!! Then gave it to my friends because I won it all last time =)
I didn't think of the mountain your way, but either works now that you mention it =)

C - That is the womans version of a quickie - take notes =) ;)
Thanks, 100 might prompt me to get into the template again, or just talk about it more.
Yeah, if he weren't so far away I'd have told him to shake off.
Sis. Yeah. Check the email for updates - not sure its entertaining enough for here.
Its Drama!!! :shake your pompoms::

Mom of Three said...

OOOOOOOOOOOOO...I go away for a week and you're off rescuing your sister? What to do? What to do? What does she think she will make of life in Suitville? Will she be living with Auntie? Hope she's pared down her amount of stuff significantly since the last move, however.

Having come back from your area, I must reiterate that I have no idea how y'all DO your area on a regular basis and don't drop dead from the frenetic pace. It's like an anthill on meth.

Female equivalent for rub the red mountain. Hmmmm. Let's think:

Polish the pink pearl?

That's the best I have for today.