Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Miss Tangent if Your Nasty

Again, this entry started as a reply email. This is literally how it went down:
I got the first comment on the last post (which was a reply gone awry), found the attachment I didn't want to find and save and link for all ya'llz, and started typing away.
I PROMISE it started innocently... "here it is, I think anytime I see a video with those little Chinese or Japanese characters along the bottom its about the coolest thing I've ever seen" (or whatever actually came out to you, Curmudgeon)... and then this started falling out of my fingers:

I got a few emails from Mr. Techie today... a bit of gab from the suddenly silent that got me through the thick of the maylay today. Only an hour left and I am chewing gum at the front desk (a major personal no-no law I'm breaking) in order to preserve the enamel of my teeth from being ground away in the process of giving myself TMJ. He was very nice to reply to the email titled "REAL WORK THIS TIME" with lightning speed, but to have him tell me to call in the trouble was a little frustrating... I told him flat out that I'd called the tech support line and gotten through the 3 minutes of hold time FIVE TIMES before emailing him all the details of the account I needed worked on AND exactly what I needed pushed through before the chick left our office and somehow he thought "you should call or email this one in, sorry" was a FANTASTIC reply to the person he once had an hour and a half conversation with "even though [he] usually isn't a talker, but somehow [I] am just that much fun to chat with".
Ok, he's busy and thats a bit unfair, but I have offered at least a handful of times for him to tell me to stop bypassing normal protocol by emailing him directly and he never tells me to back off so instead I get my girls in the office standing over my desk telling me that my charms must be wearing off because didn't I have that guy I could call and he would help me out Like.That.Every.Time and I have to try to email him my problem while explaining to them that the phones have been busy for the last 15 consecutive minutes and if I could get ANYONE in the 18 cubes (5 of which, according to Mr. Tech, are vacant right now) of Techies to pick up my incoming call I would surely ask if I could be transfered to my favorite Mr. there and have him fix the problem while I razz him about not having time enough for me anymore.

Just another afternoon in the life of Miss Sassy!
If only the computer would quite jerkin me around I might consider it all my inability to take other peoples rants about their day and toss them over my shoulder, but when I've got to plug in the keyboard in the middle of looking up info for a caller and the mouse gets lodged in the slidy shelf at just the right place for me to happen to hit all the "exit this program" keys on the way back into my chair and the left button clicks to delete the 45 labels I just spent 1.5 hours getting together... and as the fumes from that mishap clear from the 65* air that someone thinks is comfortable office tempurature but I happen to find about as frigid as open air camping in February I get today, the roomie calls to let me know that the water in the house has been turned off and the guy won't be back to start fixing the problem I BROUGHT TO THE LANDLORD/HER DAD'S attention a month ago (after it had been leaking since New Years when He noticed/wanted to fix it, but it is in HER house, the one where if we put a plant on the kitchen table it is liable to end up back on our bed) until 8am which wouldn't be such a problem since I can do a day without a shower (or go to Target and buy flip flops before going to the gym anyway and using their facilities) but 8am is exactly in the middle of my 'get ready for work' time and there will be a plumber HOPING I didn't have to take a shit in my own toilet for 12 hours and ALL UP IN MY STANKY SPACE while I try to have a somewhat normal morning.

47 minutes left in the day and counting.
Thanks to Laurie, I am all in the Shank mood (being Tuesday and all)... and being me, its all one long tangential schmorgesborg.

This is actually how the thoughts link in my head.

Bow to me, bask in my glow, try to keep up, reread if necessary, but never doubt that sometimes when someone is looking you right in the face and listening to you ask 'whats the matter?", it is possible that before they look up at you they have a thought that is something like: "just because you were an hour and a half late to meet someone in my office and then called me from the lobby and chewed my ass about how no one was helping distract her from your tardiness ALL THE WAY UP THE ELEVATOR and then you wouldn't let me do anything remotely close to my job because you somehow still didn't have your shit together and I had to do your prep work while you stood ON MY HEAD and corrected all my misclicks and mistappitytaps instead of going back to my other desk and taking it over so there is no way I can get any work done on the warm side of the building OR enjoy seeing the surface I spent an hour cleaning up this morning", in which case you might want to stop with the PDA play after they offer the "just workin" answer and pretend like you care when you pop off with "no, thats not it! where is your smile? whats wrong, really??" because there are still some people with enough brain cells left and enough food in their guts to be able to have this entire internal monolouge in the time it takes you to snap your gum.

Still bowing? no??? get your ass to yoga and learn how to hold a stretch, geeeezz.
Jose and I have a date, and maybe I'll be taking a morning swim to get his stench off me before I kung fu the plumber for mirror space in the morning.


curmudgeon said...

If mister plumber were to come to my house and shut of the water unannounced like that, he better have a 5-gallon bucket handy for the morning load of Mister Techie to fall in.
He can rinse it out later but in the meantime, Mother Nature dictates - not landlords.

Miss Sassy said...

C - the joys of renting. What can I tell ya... besides I'm considering moving closer to work.

Mom of Three said...

SOMEBODY is on a hot streak! All that time, no blogging and now this!

Jose???? Um, is he bringing the baby???

Miss Sassy said...

MOT - welcome back yourself!
Jose. As in Cuervo. I understand he is responsible for a few babies, but not in my house, thank.you.very.much.

Its the I'm-so-buried-in-work-no-matter-what that's got me blogging again. more fun that panic attacks =)

Plus Laurie at Beauty and the Beer left me a Miss You Woman comment that made me realize I'm neglecting my friends - some things are more important than paperwork =)