Yuppies

Who the F*CK do you think you are?
Give a temp who's never seen what you do the biggest most important job you have??
Its YOU being audited - YOUR files no one can navigate - YOUR shitty worded contracts no one can read - YOUR ASS when the temp can't find what YOU can't decide you are looking for.
Oh, and to think all the input you have to give is "um, this still doesn't say what I need it to, keep looking".
Look you asshat, get out of your chair and stop talking to your kids and checking your lipliner and look and the cumbersome freakshow of a file you've created and start saving your OWN ASS.
I saw you tremble in front of the auditor last night. So did he by the way.
And seriously, we had gone over those binders ONE HOUR before he got there and suddenly with him sitting there I ME SINGULARLY didn't get you the right stuff for when he showed up TWO DAYS earlier than I was told to have the project done by.
It has been three days of hell trying to appease you. I'd never met you before Friday and now I despise your voicemail saying "thanks but um no".
Shove it you cock hungry ex wife who can't decide to keep the married name for the sake of your kid's absence notes matching the name on their school records - stop whining to me about what your life amounts to via last name and help me find what your back-from-the-office-party-because-there-was-no-bar half hearted giggle with that extra 12 lbs of belly fat in red velvet so you can REALLY tell where all the chocolates went veneered smile and deer in the semi lights can't seem to nail down even when I highlight the f*cking thing for you.
And stop looking past your every-two-weeks highlights down at me because I'm fine with my virgin hair. Get out of your chair and HELP ME COVER THIS AUDIT.
F*ck man. Seriously. Deal you psych case of insecurity. I'm going to lunch.