Sunday, July 06, 2008

Who Needs a Holiday?

I'm not ready.
Being grown and alone sucks.
Moving sucks sweaty balls that won't cum.
Paying rent for two places at once is the unlubed dildo in the ass without warning.

I can't deal with 3 day weekends, I end up spending as much time as possible in bed. Looking around pretending I'm planning my course of action to move so I don't pay rent in 2 places longer than possible is possibly my favorite double think of the year.

Being an addictive depressive means doing whatever it takes to do what needs to get done, leaving me with grease and carbs and straight sugar with vodka shots and beer chasers being what got me out of bed for the first time since getting into it at 4am Saturday morning.

Girls have a strange way of being friends. Reminds me why I like guys, and even taken guys, so much better. I kinda don't like how girls in bars interact, and watching them gets very boring, and being looked over by the guys for these girls incites just enough jealousy and self-loathing to order another drink and be sure to stop at Dunkin Donuts of a small coffee and chocolate chunk cookie on the way home. (I've learned to always take a multi or B-complex after a night like this, and learned the hard way not to do it on an empty stomach and that caffeine at this hour will not keep you up but will keep you from a headache. I've got 4 milk crates of college notes I've not read since I wrote them; hangover tactics is the useful stuff I learned in college.)

I'm not excited about the new place. Neither is anyone I've met/known here. I don't motivate myself, they don't know this well enough to hide their disappointment I won't be at their beckoned call so I can do what's right for me. I've been killing myself with this commute and disjunctified schedule for them for weeks and gotten no support for that either. And no one is helping me move. I'm thinking of hiring people just so I don't have to do it alone.
(I know disjunctified isn't a word, but it says what I want it to.)

Being this alone sucks. Thinking you have enough of a friendship to get you by, then realizing you don't...

I'm going to get a shot and a fresh beer, anyone want one?


curmudgeon said...

Woops. Looks like I missed the shot-'n-beer.

Miss Sassy said...

C - anytime is a good time for a shot and a beer... my place or yours?