I really have been thinking of my blog.
Honestly, every time something chaotic or hilarious or down right morally wrong happens, the first thing I want to do is post about it and get some sense of power from the fact that I'm not the only poor schmuck who takes a job and gets the whole department reorganized on them basically weekly; that I'm not the only Sassy summumabitch who can't for the life of her get a piece of ass; not the only sales person on the block who somehow can't close a DOOR let alone an account; not the only proud mama who looks at her pup and wonders if this is one of the moments she is lucid or if she can even see me sitting in front of her (vet appt set for Saturday, MOT, I'll take pics in case her shallow breathing is from pain and not great dreams); I need some assurance that I'm not the only stubborn sot on the block who isn't at all happy that Dad wants to stop by my house and buy me a new couch to sit on, if for nothing else than I KNOW he has been too chicken shit to ask Sister and I to come up in TWO WEEKS and will try the guilt angle once he's moved in the furniture I've saved up to buy on my own; I need to know if its my version of a mid life crisis that I refuse to unpack my personal effects and have boxes as nightstands and can only think of when I can get time off approved to take vacations this year; I really want to hear that I'm not the only one who was in bed for 3 days with a hell of a chest cold, and that I'm not totally crazy for wanting to get to the office to keep the tally marks adding up to ensure THIS MONTH starts the commissions rolling in.
All this, and I hate to see my StatMeter emails reporting that my silent fans have stopped checking in. =( Its so bad, I've started opening Word docs to get the goods in some format to post, and I have a list of half completed thoughts in my file that are so old, I don't even remember what the point was.
Honestly, if I didn't have to buy a few business suits to go with this new job (told you things are changing, didn't I??!?!), and if I wasn't concerned about the monster vet bill taking my savings I had earmarked for furniture and vacations and Sister's bday celebration, I would certainly incur the monthly cost of internet access at home to better satisfy my lust for social contact. In the mean time, know that even with me at the desk for some 10-12 hours a day, I still can only DREAM of checking in with my blogworld, and I miss you terribly.