On the calendar, sure, it's marked Good Friday.
It was set to be, and, I'll admit, I've got a bounce in my step and a bit of pink in my cheeks from all the smiling, and only lost by mental capacities once today, so all in all, a pretty Good Friday. Let's not forget both bosses were out of the office, there was no training to tempt me with junk food at the wrong times of the day, the sun was out, and I wore comfys to the office.
So, I'm going about my day, enjoying deleting emails and trying to remember that easy time consuming thing I was going to do for ME instead of the rest of THEM, and I hear that Alpha Dog's bf is coming over to pick her up, but he'll be early so he'll hang for a bit. I also get to meet her niece who she talks about ALL the time, and to all the time, so I'm excited to get faces to go with these people.
I hear them come in, I wave and smile at the 9 year old (as I part time live with the male version, I know not to expect a conversation, keeping eye contact was most impressive), then wave at her escort. And he is polite and meeting 2 of us for the first time and knows we talk about him all the time so he is on his very best behavior.
And I notice it.
Then it's really hard not to notice.
Then he's in a conversation with just me, so he comes over and chats with me on my side of the room.
Then he's telling me about this band playing next Friday that is so much fun and I should definitely come and meet his friend, and go ahead and get on Google and check them out, wait, let me see the mouse for a second, and the conversation keeps going but now the 9 year old can't here so the smiles get bigger and the phrases get grown up and I'm really enjoying having a conversation with someone who can actually keep up and I realize it.
He is the 8 years older and with brown eyes instead of blue Jersey version of Ojai.
And I can't look away.
I'm having a serious case of not just de ja vu but Flashback Friday and the buzz from having a genuine smile and all these memories and all these mixed emotions of half healed scars being scratched and it feels good but you know better than to pick at it.
A whole lot of stuff going on with this little broken heart of mine, so much so that the guy left the office about 2 hours ago now and the afternoon mix on the radio in the car and driving with the windows part way down and tossing the ball with the dog and making a salad for dinner hasn't forced the thought of Ojai from my mind. Naturally, I logged in and started talking about it.
Don't worry, I mostly came home to find the gym clothes and go walk it off. Nothing like physical exhaustion to keep this from being a sleepless night!
It's a sickness. I've known this guy ruined me, I'm still forced to realize that he crosses my mind WAY WAY WAY too much for someone I haven't even glimpsed driving down the freeway for over 6 months, and then I meet his DUPLICATE COPY 2800 miles away??? Is it really possible that when they say a girl has one guy she will always take a phone call from, that she must think about him often enough to be prepared for his call if it ever does come?
On the other hand, I sparked with this character just like I did with Ojai. Quick conversation, easy transitions, big smiles the whole time, and, he picked up his phone right there in the office to invite his friend to this band next week. I even got the wink and nod that I was alright when he left.
I'm excited to go, I'm glad to maybe take part in some of the fun stuff Alpha Dog keeps reporting, and the worst that could happen is I get a night out at a bar with a band and a couple of people who keep asking me which guy I want to sit next to.
I told her I was having a flashback because I knew a guy who was JUST like him, she said "that's because we both have good taste!" Hopefully I'll just get to know a little more about this guy and he will stop being Ojai. It worked with Russell Crowe movies - couldn't watch them for a long time, the resemblance was too great, but eventually I got lost in the character instead of the memories and I can now enjoy the flicks, for the most part, depending on if I've been drinking and if I've had a good day or not.
Whatever, it's Good Friday and I was having a splendid Friday and I earned this guys approval in 10 minutes to be set up with his friend and I'm going to be just fine with that, regardless of WHY I was so friendly.
I've been watching a lot of Sex and the City lately, it's on about my bedtime, I keep on with the "here is a never going to be answered question to nag at you for the rest of your life, how do you like it?" question to everything - might have to find some other channel to set the sleep timer to tonight ;)