Catching My Breath

If you thought last week I had a lot of big news in a few bullets, get yourself a bungee cord to strap yourself in with because Wholly Fuck this week was something else.

Even for me.

1) I came home Thursday night to a For Rent sign on my house.

Yes, the house I JUST moved the LAST box into WEDNESDAY.

The.Very.Next.Day, after wearing a big ol' shit eat'n grin all fuckin' day on Thursday because He and I talked and it was cool and Sexy and I were chill buds on Sunday and Sister and I were moved in our new place and the sun was out and the pup was sleeping off the week of moving and blah bullshit blah, I come home to Sister in a state of psychosis between breakdown and breakstuff.

Whatever. That is SOOOOO, like, last week. Asshat roomie guy moved the last of his shit out on the last day rent was due, called the landlord and said "ok, this is my last month's rent, next month is all you - I have this chick interested in renting the place...".

You heard me.

Sister and I spent a total of 10 hours driving around the county checking out places to live this weekend, got an appointment to see a few, fell in love with this apartment that is so close to work that I can see if the lights are on in my office if I stand on the roof (oh, and its affordable, just got new carpet and linolium flooring and stove and fridge and paint, and the only wall we share with any other neighbor is the ceiling (and that saying "I before E except after C or when it says ahe as in neighbor and weigh just TOTALLY helped me out of a spell check, thank you so much PHONICS) and the dog is invited to the lush gardnered lawns and the carport right outside the kitchen window and the on site laundry, gym, pool, and jacuzzi - and we don't give a FUCK that we may very well be the ONLY white chicks in the entire complex (20 buildings, some 3 stories high, at least 200 apartments) - we've already made friends with our neighbors and thats all you need in vatoville, right??), which is great since there is a shitload of construction at the end of the block and it might just be easier to tote the cute shoes in the purse and hoof it to the office considering how many people have to use the detour that will be right outside my clicker-operated-only fenced driveway.

--- don't hate, appreciate, the stylings of that rambling clusterfuck of all the info you know you needed to know about my place. I am the tangent queen, and no one in my real life lets me talk like this.

2) I met my goals at work last week. I needed to shake so many hands and get my voice heard by the right people so many times EVERY WEEK for the last MONTH and LAST WEEK, as I was fagged out from super happiness followed by eviction followed by lease signing and lunch breaks and leaving on time... I met my goals!!!!
Know what I got????
nut'n.
It came to Friday at the end of the day, the part of the day when the dry erasers come out and we look at what we did and what we have left to do and as third in line to the board I found myself staring at BLANK WHITE when I got there and a whole new week's set of goals being scribbled up.
I said "hey, guess what I did?? I MET MY GOALS!"
reply - "hey. so did that other thing shore up for this week, or is it still up in the air?"
so I looked the other way and said "HEY, I met my goals this week for the first time!"
reply - "I didn't even run my numbers because I met mine at like 2pm."
aAHHHHRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHLLRRRGGGGHHHH.
"Hey, boss, I met my goals this week and it was the first time I've met both goals!! =)=)=)"
reply "HEY! THERE YA GO!!!! Look at you work'n your thang!! See??!?! Alright, thats alright, you just come in and go to work and see what happens!!?!? Thats just great!!"

This week - don't give a FUCK, and wanna take off a day or two to move and have a vacation. Maybe because I've been living out of boxes for, um, 3 weeks now... not sure.

3) Sister got a job. A real job with real money that takes up 40 hrs a week!!! The one she had here would have been part time, but they were slow on the uptake (well, she was gonna take over for someone who thought "do you want a job?" meant "do you want to take time off your new job to go on job interviews and get hired away in 2 weeks so we have to waste time training you and then your replacement?") and Sister was in Go Mode and got us a place to check out on the same day she got a job in my building =)=)
Carpooling in California feels good, can I just tell you???

4) I got picked up in a bar this weekend by a GAGGLE of military brats on a drunken Friday night. I spent the night making out with the smartest/oldest/most accomplished/ most bold of the bunch. I kept my pants on. And my shirt on. And so did he. And we made out like we were in high school (if I'd have gotten drunk on Jager shots in HS anyway) and it was FUN. Sister was there, we played "who of the 10 of us can't stand up on their own?" for a good 4 hours, woke up taking shots to curb the hangover, went to the grocery store for grub that we devoured in about 12 minutes before passing out in piles in front of the TV... and we don't have any phone numbers or random callers to linger with.

I stuck to my resolution of not being used for sex, I stuck to my resolution of not thinking every guy that takes and interest in me is worth a serious chunk of my time, and I let guys buy my drinks ALL NIGHT for TWO NIGHTS and then Sister and I locked eyes, nodded toward the door, excused ourselves for a smoke break (she still smokes, I can't handle second hand), and walked our tipsy asses home on the beachfront path we live on until this weekend. =)

Somewhere along the line we realized that we slept away and drank away the weekend, so this morning was a bitter awakening, but it was FUN to PLAY like a GROWN UP, and we suddenly reverted to three year olds who get tossed into the pool with the floaties catching us - our catch phrase by last night was "do it again??? do in again!!!!"

4) I cleaned out my address book the other day. I saw the names of the Lamers I've dismissed (but didn't want to accidentally answer their calls so I leave their numbers just in case), the old coworkers and roomates I've left in the wake of this Ventura County traversing, the friends from Northern California that sometimes forward me "friendship is forever" emails but have no idea what my life is about, the restaurants I used to order To Go's from that are now on the wrong side of the county instead of at the end of the block.

Maybe the timing was a bit off, but it solidified my nomadic existence and had me understanding why people travel in packs.
Work doesn't count.
Email friends are a bandaid.
I need to stop moving and stop being driven by nothing but career success and get myself a life before I forget how to, say, be nice to barflys and end up like :shudder::puke: Spaz - a loner with a dog.

5) Sister and I are still sharing a bed, still sharing shoes, still stepping over each other to see what kind of lipstick the other has in her magic bag of paints... its like she is visiting, but this time we get to pick the movies and dinners together. Surely this will get old, but Trainee commented last week that "at least [we] have each other, could you imagine if you didn't have a sister to do this with? I mean this is some shitty situation, actually quite a few fucked up situations, but you have your sister right there to help you through it. It sucks, but at least you don't have to do it alone." Sister and I are both impressed at how far we've come, considering this time last year we weren't speaking to each other, and we just curl up with the pillows and the pup every night and hope when we wake up we are closer to having a real life to share instead of a survival existance.

Its 9:30pm on a Monday night. I left the office at 5:10pm, went home to play with the dog and start laundry and cook a fantabulous dinner and chill with a beer and the TV and before rolling over to suck down the rest of a 6 pack and slobber myself to sleep, I decided to suck it up, come into the office, plot my course for all my hand shaken tomorrow, and leave an update for you, my drama lapper uppers.

If I can sit up for another 20 minutes, I'll comment on your blog - if I don't, call Techie for me and see if there is a way he can personally replace the keyboard I have surely smacked hard enough with my forehead of coma sleep to warrent a house call and equipment replacement. =)

The Haps

SO much stuff has been happening that I can have a computer that gets online at home and STILL not check in!!!

1 - I moved. Sister moved. She is getting the last of the kitchen stuff moved today. We have a place. It is AWSOME. Pics to come if I can remember and be awake and home during daylight hours.

2 - Job is going. Training and coaching daily has me understanding how to work the system to get what I need (like a goal met so I don't feel like the day has been wasted every day).

3 - Diet is shot to hell. I, therefore, feel like a bit of hell is dragging behind me. Working on it, but the beer was SO CHEAP for the Super Bowl so I HAD to get the big case and then moving and unpacking seems such a chore without a frosty brew at every corner... anyway, I'll get back into a schedule one of these days, but until then, know that I sleep in a drunken stupor and that makes my mornings nearly unbearable.

4 - I miss my online friends. Even just reading blogs. Makes a random call from Him that much more satisfying. Haven't talked in about 5 months, then a half hour catch up session. I'm not a mess... actually, I'm pretty impressed at how easy it was to just say hi. No promises about any follow up, but it made me feel like less of a loner - and a little awsome that he remembers me fondly enough to call and be civil and enjoy conversing with me. I.Am.That.Fucking.Cool. And I regret not being able to share this with you often enough.

5 - I had the bartender kick a guy out last night because I wasn't enjoying his company. My boss has my sister coming in to be our temp receptionist part time, starting tomorrow. The calls I was making yesterday had me realizing I actually do get people eating out of the palm of my hand as they wrap themselves around my little finger in about the first 10 seconds of chat. Somehow feeling that the pangs of hard work are coming to fruition... off to shake hands and see if I can be referred to as "so charming we just don't want you to leave our office!" EVERY day this week =)